Monthly Archives: September 2010

A REAL GIRL… Wearing LABELS! THANK YOU GOD!

DO YOU SEE THIS GIRLS?!?!?!?! THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! THIS IS HOW YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!

So, I see this girl, young, about 20, every week.  And every time I see her, she is HEAD 2 TOE in Luxury Labels! (THERE IS A GOD)!!!!

Lets go thru the list: Hermes bangle, with matching Hermes belt. Fendi bag. Chanel pin on a cape sweater. Whats out of the shot? Chanel ballet flats.( YOU DO THE MATH) 🙂

The first time I saw her, she was in all black, tall high heeled boots, and the big Chanel Cabo quilted bag… Hermes bangles…. (sigh)… it’s my favorite word again: PERFECTION. The fact that she is also model thin, with perfect long hair, PORCELAIN SKIN, lived in Paris, and has a GORGEOUS French name (a Woman’s Couture design house has same name!)… I mean, just wait till 5 years from now, 10 years!!! THAT CLOSET is going to be like the VOUGE CLOSET IN NYC!!!!

THIS GIRL gives me something to LIVE for, and look foward to EVERY WEEK!

CAUTION: MAN BOOBS…. REALLY

So…… this is a MAN. I see him every once in a while in this getup. He puts on a wig and this short skirt with just a white thong on underneath, then gets on a bicycle and peddles up and down the boulevard, exposing his big hairy a**.  And his man boobs. Its actually very frightening. This guy clearly has psychological issues, seeing as exposing himself like this is not a freedom of expression, but more likely a sexual kick. Children should not see this. This is not funny. It is disgusting and vulgar. And sad…. the police should arrest him for public indecency. And you know what he does when he’s done? He gets in a big white pickup truck, puts his bike in the back, and drives off to God knows where.

CLEARLY this is a WHO LIED TO YOU moment like no other. I think this will win the Pic of the Year.

VMA FASHIONS(?)

We all watched the VMA’s , and it was like the ocean…. it rose, it fell, had waves, was flat…… some people looked like Goddesses, some i hoped would drown. (THATS TO YOU F***** STUPID A*** PIECE OF S*** KANYE.. UGLY A** F***)

So heres a roundup of the good, the bad, and the ugly 🙂

CHER.  REALLY???? She’s 64!!!! and looks like she NEVER AGED! (of course, thank you plastic surgery) BUT DAMN! AMAAAZING!!!!!! Because really, WHO DO YOU KNOW that’s 64, and can ROCK THIS LOOK? CHER CAN!

B.O.B and Haley Williams… if I HEAR THIS F******** song ANYMORE, I’m GOING TO KILL MYSELF! SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT AIRPLANES AND SHOOTING STARS! And the whole hype about how they never met, recorded separately, and this was their first meeting, AND performance together…WHO THE F*** cares?!?!?!  AND THIS WAS THE RESULT? Her UGLY A** HAIR and CRAP outfit (really??! thats what u choose to wear on live TV??!) and B.O.B’ OUTFIT AND BEHAVIOR? Stupid….. looked like a f***** clown, waving his arms in UGLY A** CLOTHES. BOTH OF YOU: SHUT UP, and GO AWAY!

Taylor Swift…. one word: PERFECT. those EYES!!!! HER HAIR! whoever did her makeup and hair deserves a VMA award!!!!!!! She performed a haunting song, barefoot, commanded that HUGE stage all alone, and OWNED IT. LOVE.

Jared Leto and his band…i like one of his songs, but I just have one observation. He and the guy on right? Boyfriends. Just a hunch, got that vibe. just saying. (the outfits alone are gay!)

Florence + the Machine: great performance. Loved the song from “Eat Pray Love”. Now, I want her CD. She was ethereal, looked heavenly, kept it simple and beautiful. And  her voice ROCKED.

I hate Eminem, but his lyrics have been good lately. I LOVE RIHANNA, but i HATE her red wig. and I hate a ballerina dress with combat boots. Barf. Go back to Futuristic, crazy, cool, all black rockstar 101!

Ke$ha… YOU KNOW WHY SHE WORE A GARBAGE BAG??? BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE’S TRASH. i won’t knock someone for making a name for themselves, and making money off it, but YOU LOOK STUPID, YOUR OUTFIT IS A GARBAGE BAG?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!??!?!! GOOOO AWAAAYYY!!!!!! TIK TOK and BLAH BLAH on a DESERTED ISLAND PLEASE! T-R-A-S-H…. and no $ in your name either… stupid…

Nicki Minaj and will.i.am….. ok, she’s CRAZY. But thats why i love her…. she’s the new Lil Kim, rap/hiphop’s new Barbie, so I get it…. its just that THAT outfit, and her BUTT IMPLANTS looked HUUUUUUGGGGEEEEE on TV! But her singing style is infecting, I must say… at least she owns it! Now will.i.am on the other hand… stupid. we know its a costume, we know its a look… but really??!?! you just look stupid. OBVIOUSLY NICKI ASKED FOR A REAL BLACK MAN, YOU KNEW YOU COULDN’T DELIVER CUZ UR SO DOUCHY, SO YOU HAD TO FAKE IT WITH THE FACE PAINT!!! GO TO THE SAME ISLAND I’M SENDING KESHA TOO… FAR AWAY.

JUSTIN BEIBER: WE KNOW USHER IS YOUR MENTOR, BUT ONLY FOR SINGING AND DANCING!! NOT STYLE! REMEMBER: YOUR WHITE, and 16!!!!! DRESS LIKE IT! AND PLEASE, FROM ALL OF AMERICA AND THE WORLD: LOSE THE LESBIAN HAIRCUT.

GAGA in McQueen… yes its a lil cuckoo, BUT HELL YEAH! Its from his FINAL collection, it’s straight off the runway, AND SHE IS HONORING HIM. Plus, u see the shoes she walked in? Lets se any of YOU try that! WELL DONE LADY, WELL DONE…. and speaking of well done, her next outfit is a lil more; shall we say: undercooked.

Yes, thats right: a MEAT DRESS. MEAT STRAPPED TO HER BODY. To me, it looks fake, ( I MEAN- IMAGINE THE SMELL?) But she’s also wearing DIAMONDS!!! SHE DRESSED UP HER MEAT! she’s a controversial person, and you know what? she’s who she is, because of her weird outfits. And hey, when she’s hungry, she has something to nibble! 🙂

LAST, AND DEFINITELY LEAST, IS “DOUCHEBAG KING” K.  THIS IS TO YOU KANYE: YOU THINK UR AN ARTIST, AND YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS ARTISTIC BECAUSE ITS STARK WHITE, YOUR IN RED, YOU’RE SINGING HIP HOP, BUT HAVE BALLET DANCERS. YOU ARE A STUPID A** UGLY PIECE OF S***!  YOU LOOKED LIKE A GAY VERSION OF MR.T. TOO BAD THAT RED WASN’T YOUR BLOOD FROM TAYLOR SWIFT BEATING THE S*** OUT OF YOU. YOU SANG ABOUT “DOUCHEBAGS & A********”… wow, your anthem, what a shocker. YOUR F****** STUPID!

Fashion’s Night Out Los Angeles

So THANK GOD for this night! (Or at least the Fashion Gods). This is EXACTLY what Los Angeles NEEDED!!!!!!  Walking the streets of Melrose, Robertson, and Rodeo, seeing all the woman in in dresses and heels; all the men in blazers and ties…. IT WAS LIKE BEING IN NEW YORK!!!! So many Fashion lovers came together to celebrate fashion by getting all dressed up, and go to participating stores in an effort to help boost the economy, bring attention to fashion again, and also help with charities!  Here’s how my night went:

First stop, John Varvatos. BEST PARTY. PERIOD. Tequila, champagne, even “Teddy” from 90210 was there. “Rockstar Couture” is what it felt like. For any purchase of $300 or more, u get ur portrait taken by LEGENDARY ROCK PHOTOG ROBERT KNIGHT (Rolling Stones, Elton John, Led Zeppelin), so of course that was a MUST! ( Here’s a behind-the-scenes after):

Robert Knight, Jaromy Pittario, and me

Thank you Robert! Can’t wait for the portraits to arrive in 7-10 days!

Next stop was CHROME HEARTS: more champagne, and the JEWELRY IS TO F****** DIE FOR!!!! Nothing but DIAMONDS, DAGGERS, and DOGTAGS…. and more DIAMONDS… I think I know what’s on my WISH LIST!!!!

Philip Lim 3.1 on Robertson was next, where I def wanted to go, because I was WEARING my favorite 3.1 pants! (and heard it was the best party). THERE WAS A LINE OF ABOUT 30 people to get a drink, and for the food truck OUTSIDE, the line ended INSIDE the store…. was waaay to crazy, and headed to RODEO DR.!

RODEO DR: Home Sweet Home 🙂 It was like a Shoppers Holiday on STEROIDS… Every store was open, and EVERY WOMAN WAS IN HEELS (L.O.V.E.)

PRADA: CRAZY

Prada store

Rodeo Dr. even put up a Ferris wheel!

Ferris Wheel on Rodeo Dr

Was finally 10, our time was up….. and time to end our night, (as I like to call it) “Hillary Swank Oscar Style”… grabbed a burger and glass of wine.

THANK YOU LA, THANK YOU FASHION, AND THANK ALL OF YOU WHO ACTUALLY DRESSED UP, AND GAVE A S***! YOU ALL LOOKED BEAUTIFUL!!!

NIKITA: “PERFECTION” in GUCCI

Remember my post not too long ago entitled “Perfection” where I showed the Gucci ad with the model and wrote that “THIS is what EVERY woman should look like!?” Here’s a reminder:

Well here it is in ALL its (real life) glory!!!  (I just want to say, OBVIOUSLY I was on to something, if the show’s stylist thought the same: that this ad IS THE definition of SEXY.)

Maggie Q stars in new CW show “Nikita”( just like the film).  ANY WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT AND IS AN ASSASSIN IS HOT HOT HOT!!! I would watch this show everyday if they had it on. She is running around in heels, up and down stairs, shooting people, and in this dress!!!

So if she can do that ladies, then it’s NOTHING for u to be wearing this chasing toddlers or going to the grocery store , right?

Put a lil WT in your LABOR DAY

Sooooo….. I was just checking my email, and an ad from RedEnvelope.com was a side banner… and THIS is what they were showing!!!!! Here is the “gift description”:

“In the spirit of the Wild West, this holster keeps his beer ready for a quick draw whenever the need arises. Made of rugged leather, it snaps onto any standard belt and the adjustable nylon strap wraps around the thigh for additional support. A fun accessory for parties and tailgates, it also makes a convenient holder when he needs his hands free for grill duty. Exclusively from RedEnvelope.”

AND: THERE ARE 225 REVIEWS!!!!!  with an 5 out of 5 Star Rating!!!! OMG, What is this Middle America World coming to?????? My curiosity got to me, (mainly out of shock and disbelief) so I HAD to read a couple reviews… the following are the highlights:

“This is a great gift for your man. Great to wear while playing corn hole, or any other tailgating game.”

“Got this for my boyfriend for his birthday. He absolutely loves it. It is great when he is grilling, camping, fishing and playing horseshoes! He definitely recommends this.”

“I purchased this beer holster for my husband as part of an anniversary gift and he loved it! It’s sturdy, made well and looks cool. He has used it for weekend trips to the lake house. Heloves to wear it while grilling and spending time with the guys. It’s a great conversation piece and quite functional. All of his friends got a great kick out of it!”

“I bought this for my brother-in-law’s 28th B-day! He loves the beer holster. It is high quality, and has the genuine leather smell. It was the talk of the cook-out when he appeared with this holster on. All the other guys at the party were jealous, and now I am hoping to get one for my B-day as well.”

PEOPLE: WTF?!??!?!! WTFLTY!?!?!?!?!?!? WTF is “CORN HOLE???” And REALLY, to use when playing Horseshoes??? UR THAT F****** REDNECK you need to WEAR THAT while PLAYING???? AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT? A BIRTHDAY PRESENT??? If I recieved that as a present for ANY occasion, I would be in denial that that person was my friend, and would NEVER know them EVER AGAIN!!!

“Genuine Leather Smell”???? Oh Jesus, Help me…….


M.I.(would not)L.F.

So this is a PERFECT example of what to do my lil readers! This pic was sent to me from Nicole with the following message:

“I was at the beach in Maryland and this ass was shaking like nothing I had ever seen before and not in a good way. My first thought was OMG send this to Brian ASAP. The whole thing is just so, so wrong!”

SEE!!??! ITS CATCHING ON! PEOPLE ARE BEING CONSCIOUS OF WHATS GOING ON OUT THERE, and TURNING TO ME TO HELP MAKE IT GLOBAL! STOP UGLINESS (and inappropriateness) EVERYWHERE!!!

This woman is a MOTHER!!!! WITH CHILD IN TOW! THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE AT A PUBLIC BEACH! ( or anywhere else actually). We’ve got the “barely there” strings of the “top” horrendously NOT covering up back rolls   (c’mon now women, I know you know better than to let this happen!), and the skirt/wrap/ thing that is SUPPOSED  to be covering, is doing nothing, and I’m seeing a BIG OL CHUNK OF ASS….. God, I’m afraid to see what the front looks like!

Not cool, Mom….. not cool….