Golden Globes 2010: Gowns & Getups

As always, Award Show Red Carpets  give every fashionista anxiety: “WHO WORE WHAT???” And throughout the show, there are the “ooh’s and aah’s”. Then there are the, “WHAT THE F***? WHO’S HER STYLIST?? DOES SHE EVEN HAVE ONE? WHO LIED TO YOU????

Thankfully there wasn’t too much of that this year; mostly beautiful, some could have been tweaked, and a few: JAIL TIME SHOULD BE SERVED.  I have the WORST at the end…enjoy! 🙂

Here we go:

***THE HOLLYWOOD A-LIST***

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Monique Lhullier. Emerald green was worn by many last night, and this was one of the best of that color. The shape is gorgeous, Catherine (as ALWAYS) is one of the most BEAUTIFUL women alive, but the material reminds me of astro-turf. I know, I know: I love Monique too, and I’m sure in person, the material is wonderful, but if it looks like grass to millions of viewers, it probably is not the best PR move.  (Catherine is TOOO gorgeous for that).

Ann Hathaway, in Armani Prive.  This girl went from petrifing to pretty in Princess Diaries; a disaster to diva in Devil wears Prada, and now: a girl to GORGEOUS. Ann: THANK YOU! Beautiful hair, face, dress- that open back to JUUUUUSSSST above the butt, looked absolutely amazing. My vote towards best of the night 🙂

Nicole Kidman in Prada. Pretty face, great slender body, nice dress. Simple. I think the simpleness with the bow is destroyed with adding a sparkly shoulder piece. Ehh…. NEXT

Sandra Bullock, in Jenny Packham. I don’t mind this, she looks great, but it’s a lil…. boring? could there be such a thing as maybe, “Beautiful boring?” I love Ms. Sandy B, (and please don’t hate me anyone), but if you look quickly at this photo, you could mistake the posturing and hair for Bai Ling…. (an Amazing version of Bail Ling, of course). I liked the bangs, but then thought, wait, she looks asian…

Angelina Jolie, in Versace. I think this is the first time in my life I though,”wait… i don’t like this” when it came to a thought about Angelina. To me, she is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, it borders on OBSESSING how AMAZING her FACE, BODY, EYES, EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS. But this dress fell short of that. All I ended up caring about was seeing her and Brad all cozy all night. Aww…

Julianne Moore, in Lanvin…… WTF??????????? I love her as an actress, and love all her characters she’s played. BUT THIS DRESS IS HOOOOOOORRRRIBLE! The one arm thin, half dress thing has GOT TO GOOOO!!!!!! NO, NO, NO! WHO LIED TO YOU??? YOU are BEST FRIENDS with TOM FORD! WHERE IS A NEW TOM FORD DRESS????????

Scarlett Johanssen, in Elie Saab. This outfit says one thing to me: BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN!! What is this lace thing? with the hair pulled up high and back??? ALL it needed were the streaks, and she would have been that character!!!

Natalie Portman, in Victor & Rolf. She is the Golden Globe sweetheart, EVERYONE and their mother is talking about her and BLACK SWAN. What everyone is also talking about is, “Why This Dress??” We know the movie is eerie, we know she is now pregnant… is she trying to show us a sweet side? If so: I don’t want to see that! I want Goddess! This rose thing is N.C. (not cute)… We all remember the misfortune that was Charlize’s rosebud boobies, right???

Jennifer Lopez, in Zuhair Murad. Remember the song, “My Love don’t cost a thing?” Well, this unfortunate communion/catholic wedding dress is no exception. She supposedly wore $5 million in jewelry….. too bad I don’t see that here. I guess you can still have a lot of money, and still look blah. Even her hair, just in a ponytail? NOT APPROPRIATE FOR A RED CARPET! She may be a beautiful woman, but no excuse: put in some effort. She is currently the FACE of Gucci, with her kids: WEAR A STUNNING GUCCI! PLEASE!!!

Halle Berry, in Nina Ricci. No matter what she wears, this woman is PRICELESS. LOOK AT THAT FACE! THAT BODY! THAT SKIN!!!! Although I’m not a fan of the half dress, half gown thing; i think I like this. Of course I wish it was one or the other, but seeing this photo again, thank God I get to see some leg! Voting MOST GORGEOUS of the Night!

***YOUNG HOLLYWOOD***

Leighton Meester, in Burberry. It may seem a little old fashioned at first, but then the shoes!, the slit!, the tailored sleeves!, and of course: that coy cherub face I love. I actually really like this on her. TEAM BLAIR!

Emma Stone, Calvin Klein Collection. We know her from “Easy A”…. here, she gets an A+!!!!! I LOVE her BLONDE!!!! And she’s TAN! and that perfect shade of peachy orange looks Great! I hope this got Casting directors attention, because I want to see more of this!!!! 🙂

Olivia Wilde, in Marchesa. I’m still not sure… I LOVE that its a “princess” dress, and the colors are dark and sexy…., but her unbrushed-hair look bothers me. I know if she did an up-do, it might look TOOO princess-y, but then again, it IS a red carpet!!! Maybe some big Giselle styled curls…. I just need more here. Dress is being wasted 😦

Jennifer Love Hewitt, in Romona Keveza (a bridal dress maker). I think she looks great here, she does it right with the hair, makeup, skin. Very Pretty. The dress looks a little like the structured Marchesa worn by Kate Hudson a while ago, but otherwise: Good Job J Love! I was rooting for you to win for “The Client List!”

Megan Fox, in Armani Prive. THE TEMPTRESS OF THE NIGHT. THE SEDUCTRESS. The Bad Girl in Hollywood that you have inappropriate thoughts of. THIS IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!

Mila Kunis, in Vera Wang. One of “the other green dresses”.  HOT GIRL, great color on her. I think the shoulder is too wide, too much fabric… don’t really like the poof on it either. Had it been strapless, (and with a better push-up), this would have been STUNNING. However, that face saves it. I can’t wait to see more, and hope that her Oscar dress SCREAMS Body hugging!!!!

Christina Aguilera, in Zuhair Murad. I’m not a fan of the mermaid tail, but I do like this dress; I like the way it curves, and the bust line is a great fit. But WHY the SAME RED LIPS with the SAME BLEACHED HAIR????? PICK SOMETHING ELSE PLEAAASE!!!!! It’s driving me CRAZY! Bring back some makeup moves from STRIPPED! Give me SEXY SMOKEY EYES!!! ANYTHING!!! And Christina: whats with the WEIGHT??????????

*** TV LAND***

Eva Longoria, Zac Posen. We all know she likes her trains, I think it comes with the Napolean Complex: the shorter you are, the grander the dress. While the top is modest, and simple (almost too much actually.. the top half looks like a secretary), the bottom reminded me of URSULA in “The Little Mermaid”. If anyone with a brain knows: that correlation should not happen.

Sophia Vergara, in Vera Wang….. or as she said, ” Vera WONG”. Hey Gorgeous Hot Fiery Temptress Beautiful Creature: Make sure you say the name right!!!! I love her on Modern Family, that accent makes me Crazy in love with her, and seeing her at Nobu once made my heart stop. However: red dress, on red carpet-Can get lost. And I don’t want this lady to get lost!

Leah Michelle, in Oscar de la Renta. Usually, she is a favorite of mine, because she chooses mature gowns. This time, it looks sloppy: The hair hanging in the face, with the excess fabric drooping down the side of her…. this is TOO MUCH DRESS for her… to big, too much, too sloppy.

Sarah Hyland, in Max Azria Atelier. You may not recognize her, but she is the eldest daughter in Modern Family. That’s right: all grown up, and BEAUTIFUL!!!!!My jaw dropped when I saw this; no jeans, or little outfits, but emerging as a woman! She looks SOOOO Good! Definitely the VOTE for BEST NEWCOMER!!!!! 🙂 Congrats!

 

***THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!***

Heidi Klum and Seal; she in Marc Jacobs, he in something to be burned. WHAT IS THIS MESS????? This is GROSS. His outfit is UGLY. UGLY SHOES. What is that suit: leather??? Gross. And take your glasses off, this isn’t MTV awards, this is for the Golden Globes! What are you doing here anyway? And Heidi: YOU RUN AN EMPIRE revolving around FASHION, and THIS UGLY ASS DRESS is what you wear to a RED CARPET AWARDS SHOW?????!?!?! SHAME ON YOU.  This Picture is Ugly to look at.

Tilda Swinton, in Jill Sander.  (sigh…) I know you’re a little kooky, and almost like the older version of a Chloe Sevigney with your outfit choices, but WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Its like the fashion house tried to make a 1-piece version of what Sharon Stone wore…in the 90’s!!! Sharon wore a ball gown skirt, with her the husband’s shirt… and it LOOKED GOOD! Here, this is a GIANT DIAPER DRESS. BLUGH! ( the ONLY ONLY ONLY thing I like: is the pink shoe that’s so unfortunately being hidden).

Julianna Marguiles, in vintage YSL.  Sometimes, vintage needs to stay there. BORING BORING BORING. YOU LOOK LIKE AN OLD LADY.

Mandy Moore, in Monique Lhullier. Sorry Hon, Catherine Zeta got the better dress from this designer. Looks like either Monique wasn’t involved with this dress AT ALL, or it’s a lie! THIS IS BORING AND UGLY. BLAH. Brush your Hair!

Helena Bohnam Carter, in Vivienne Westwood.  (WTF……. SIGHHHHHHHHHHH…………) Where do I start…. the hair? the mismatched shoes? the dress? How about this woman’s sanity. I would REALLY LIKE TO KNOW THIS: WHAT GOES ON IN THAT BRAIN WHEN DRESSING FOR AN AWARDS SHOW????? WHAT DRUGS/ PRESCRIPTIONS/ HALLUCINOGENS/ ALCOHOL  ARE YOU TAKING??? What makes this OK?!?!?!?! Can’t someone recognize that she’s not right in the head? That she’s a little bit CRAZY????  In her OWN word’s from Alice in Wonderland: “OFF WITH HER HEAD”. This GETUP is such an insult to the establishment which puts on theses awards. She should not be allowed to be there if she makes a mockery of recognizing talent. Keep your ugly fashion choices to yourself.  INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!!

 


 

 

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