Monthly Archives: July 2011

Re- DICK -ulous T-Shirts

I have received some readers photos recently, and have found that there is a part of America who STILL thinks BATHROOM HUMOR is funny (didn’t we all grow out of that by 6th grade?) and some who think that their “‘anti society’/anti ‘the- norm'” views means something (didn’t we ALSO stop doing that in junior high school?) I am mystified and plagued by the thought process that went into both A) the idiots who MADE these shirts, and B) the freaks who WEAR them.

Basically- if you see someone wearing a shirt that would go in this category- run. Run the other way, do not talk to them, do not catch their eye. They CLEARLY have issues.

Is this supposed to be funny? a license plate with i ❤ sav-on? I don’t understand. Really. Except whoever wears it must also be a REEAAAAAL Cheap ass, so ladies- don’t consider this guy worthy of dating. The most expensive date you’ll go on is Taco Bell.

And speaking of cheap asses:

Look at this winner! REAAALY??? And let’s see, what could MY response be? “AND ONLY FREAK ASS LOSERS WOULD WEAR THAT SHIRT!” It’s not that you have to buy expensive shirts (it’s nice to),  but you DEFINITELY don’t buy this “shirt” either!!! The type of person who would wear this is someone I know, who is so… “anti- government/conspiracy 9/11” and lives in a small WT town in northern Cali. He also would love that is has a skull, since he is a “metal-head” (gross) and listens to that Metallica crap… (isn’t that from the 80’s/early 90’s?)

Clearly the people who wear these things are A**HOLES!!!

And speaking of butts, check this out- and ACTUAL butt HOLE on a t-shirt:

Wow…. some guy is actually wearing a REAL A-HOLE on his BODY…. WTF is WRONG with PEOPLE out there???? 

WHERE DID YOU GO, PICK UP THIS SHIRT, and think, “THIS IS SO COOL, I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!” Why are you allowed in public??????? 

The following t-shirt I couldn’t take a real live photo of, it was on a FATHER who was out with his (estimated age) 4 year old son. Lucky(?) for me, I was able to google this (unfortunately) very easily:

A FATHER was wearing this…. IN PUBLIC… WITH his YOUNG CHILD. I have a message for that man, and any man who is thinking of having children: IF YOU WEAR THIS SHIRT, YOU SHOULD NOT BE A PARENT. What kind of message are you telling your child about how to treat others in life? That child will obviously have BAD parenting skills, HORRIBLE manners, and probably end up a WT loser…. That is a HORRIBLE thought, but most likely- true. DON’T WEAR THIS CRAP!!!!!!

And on a brighter, humorous side, I saw this shirt in a store in NYC:

I almost died inside laughing!!! Someone after my OWN HEART!!!!!

Of course I did NOT buy this, (I mean, really?) Even though it’s message is EVERYTHING I stand for, and actually, WOULD be funny coming from me- I do NOT wear STUPID SLOGAN SHIRTS. If I really did see this on someone, I would think, “YEAH, the SALES ASSOCIATE  who SOLD that to YOU!!”

Either way, whoever wears these shirts- the jokes on them…. not us.

 

Real Housewives NY = Real Drama

Real Housewives of New York had their series Reunion last night, and HOLY SH**, it was OUT OF CONTROL. Because it was 90 min (which, I LOVED), it was full of SOOO much, that I can only give you a recap, and how I feel about some of these so-called “ladies”.

Alex McCord - "Skeletor"

Alex Mccord- "modeling?" GROSS

She thinks she’s worthy of being on this show??? that she has class???? NICE PHOTO….

She keeps talking about Luanne being a “thug in a cocktail dress”. How about you, Alex – a CRAZY, WANNABE, SOCIAL-CLIMBING, DESPERATE FREAK, who is DISGUSTING both IN & OUT of HER OWN DRESS!!!!! I have started calling her “SKELETOR“, for obvious reasons. She thinks she’s just as good as the other girls- WRONG!!! (she lives in Brooklyn- she keeps spewing that fact with pride. You’re nowhere near NY social status if you’re not living in Manhattan). She says she “found her voice” this season, and feels she can instigate and defend and run her mouth about things which don’t concern her- SHUT THE F*** UP already! No one cares or wants to hear your blubbering garbage coming out of that mouth.

"She-MAN" and "Skeletor" at the beach... BARF

Also her UGLY ASS FREAK HUSBAND SIMON VAN KEMPEN needs to be offed by the mob- he’s so gross, desperate, and WTF  is he always wearing????? SHOOT HIM ALREADY! PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY!!!!!  And FINALLY, she thinks she’s a MODEL: YEAH RIGHT – I see ALOT of REAL models everday, and ALEX MCCORD IS NOT A MODEL. SHE IS AN UNNATTRACTIVE WOMAN. EVEN WITH ALOT OF MAKEUP? STILL UGLY. INSIDE and OUT. Alex- leave the show. You’re a desperate loser, and I can’t listen to you’re whiny voice anymore, or see that ugly SKELETOR face anymore. GROSS

Ramona Singer AKA "THE RESIDENT DRUNK"

Ramona Singer decided to spend the ENTIRE SEASON DRINKING, and it had to “always be HER Pinot Grigio”…. wherever she went, it HAD to be there WAITING for her. WHAT A MESS!!! She was ALWAYS with GLASS IN HAND, and sloppy, slurring words. Last season, I just thought she was “CRAZY EYES” but this time, she was “CRAZY CROSS-EYED DRUNK WORST MOTHER OF THE YEAR”.

Yup, I said it! She kept going ON and ON about how she needs to set the “perfect example for my daughter”, (by not being in Luanne’s music video?) but she CLEARLY THINKS that DOWNING BOTTLES of wine in EVERY EPISODE is a better example. THANK GOD Luanne said she “hopes she (Avery- Ramona’s daughter) turns out fine”. If I were Avery, I would be SO EMBARRASSED of my MOM. WHAT A DISAPOINTMENT!!!!!

Frick & Frack, and Skeletor - the 3 dumb blondes

I did feel sorry for Sonja Morgan this episode.. no one should have to go through terrible times like bankruptcy and court/financial problems. So I sympathize with her. Truly. I am ALSO on her side with the whole CINDY/PHONE-CALL/BREAKFAST scenario-

Cindy- in the Lion's Den of Sonja's Kitchen

you don’t take a business call in someone’s home when you’re invited over to EAT. If it doesn’t work in your schedule: RE-SCHEDULE!!!!! I also love Sonja for kicking out Skeletor from her party because she WON’T EVER SHUT UP!!!! Overall, I usually like Sonja- I think she got WAY TO INVOLVED with RAMONA this season, and became an (off camera) drinker. Instead of facing her issues, she disguised them by partying and playing. She needs to grow up a little bit; I hope these unfortunate events brought her back to reality.

Cindy Barshop - the New Girl

Poor Cindy. She had NO IDEA what was gonna hit her when she signed up for this show. THE FIGHTS, THE ‘PECKING ORDER”, THE GOSSIPING. If she thought this show would help platform her business, well, she got the short end of the stick! Barely any airtime, and when she was on, she could NEVER GET A WORD IN with all the other CRAZYS constantly fighting and bickering with her!!! Cindy, I like you- if you don’t come back, I understand- who would want to rehash all of that again??? But if you DO come back, PLEASE HAVE A STRONGER WILL TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, AND KICK THE BLONDES ASS’ (verbally, of course).

the NEW Kelly Bensimone

Look at her! SANE, HEALTHY, IN CONTROL, HAPPY, and of course, still GORGEOUS. Whatever she did this year made a world of difference- she has joined the ranks of Jill and Luanne,.. a woman… it was only last year she was a lil cuckoo on “Scary Island”, but I am THANKFUL she has turned herself around. Last year, she was my least favorite- I thought she was crazy!!! This year: I LOVE HER!!! She told Alex off, (thank you!) reasoned with Ramona (credit for trying!) and was peacemaker for Sonja/Cindy (brave, girl). I hope this Kelly keeps up the good work, she’s DOING GREAT!!!!!!! 🙂

Jill Zarin and Luanne DeSeppes - Queen Bees ❤

I didn’t have ANY PROBLEMS with these 2 AT ALL!!!! I LOVED THEM this season, they RULED the show, and were the ONLY ONES who actually kept it together!!!!!!!!!

Jill started off this season quietly, and stayed out of fighting, UNLESS PROVOKED. Last year I think the show got to her head, but after the Bethanny thing, she realized that all the drama wasn’t important- family, business, and REAL FRIENDS were. Jill was so humble and gracious, and only asked about the girls issues, she didn’t involve herself with them. She also gave people the time to explain themselves for their stupid behavior. But when she needed to get her point out, she did- and SHUT EM DOWN!!! Also, a BIG KUDOS for all the “looks” and “appearance” departments…. looking younger everyday!!! 🙂

And my dear Luanne – YOU can do no wrong!!!  There isn’t ONE SCENE from this whole season where she didn’t exude CONFIDENCE, CLASS, PERSONAL HAPPINESS, and SHINE thru all the others BULLSH**!! Luanne- THANK YOU FOR BEING A STRONG WOMAN WITH CLASS!!

(Come visit LA you two, and let’s have an amazing time!)

When u measure your nails in FEET….

So…. the following images are REALLY disturbing. They are photos of people FEINGERNAILS and TOENAILS that have to be measured in not inches, but FEET… That has got to be one of the sickest things I have ever typed or said or thought.

Here is Lee Redmond, who “holds the record” for the longest fingernail’s at a combined length of 8.65 m…. that is 28 ft 4.5 in!!!!! WTF?!?!

Lee is  a 66-year-old great-grandmother and former hairstylist from Salt Lake City, Utah… WHERE IN HER LIFE DID SHE GO WRONG???

The last time Redmond cut her nails WAS IN 1979, when the President was Jimmy Carter!!!

She says she started growing her nails “on a whim”.

HERE IS THE REALLLLLLLLLY SAD CONFESSION SHE MADE:

She was just growing her nails, and when they were 3.5 inches long, she had an encounter with a local Utah TV producer. So then she thought she was going to be famous….. SHE SAID: “Nobody wants to be a nobody. It’s like, ‘What could I do? What could I do?'”

SHE WAS THAT DESPERATE TO BE A SOMEBODY??!?!?! AND GROWING YOUR NAILS LIKE A DRAGON MADE YOU ONE??? You got to be in the Guinness Book of World Records….. WOOOP -F’ing -EEEE!!!!
SO SAD………

(PS: February 10, 2009, she was involved in an auto collision. Her “record-breaking” nails were damaged beyond repair in the crash.  THANK GOD!!!!)

So these gold stunner nails belong to a Jazz Ison Sinkfield, a grandmother from Atlanta, GA who spends $250 per month to keep up her nails, which measure 24 inches long!!!! She has told people that her dream is “to one day sit on Oprah’s couch and talk beauty.”

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh………… REALLY???? SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT BEAUTY??? These nails are the UGLIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!! And her DREAM is to be on OPRAH??? How about a higher aspiration…

And last, but not least, is Louise Hollis- who holds the record for the world’s longest toenails.

(GAGGING…………)

In 1991, the combined length of Louise Hollis’ 10 toenails was 2m 21cm (WHICH IS 87 in) – so each is approximately 15.25 cm (6 in) long!!! WHO THE HELL THINKS THIS IS ATTRACTIVE?!?!?!?!? She states that she “started growing her toenails after leaving them long to make her feet look pretty in sandals for the summer“. UHHHHHHHH…. HARDLY.

And the following is an excerpt I found on SoulfulBeauty.com:

“The mother of 12 and grandmother of 21, Louise just couldn’t bear to file them down. She enjoys the attention the nails bring her while out and about in her hometown of Compton. She spends two days a week maintaining the nails, with the whole family lending a hand to help paint and file her collection. She is single after a frustrated husband gave her the ultimatum, “It’s me or the nails!” Her reply, “I’ve had you for 21 years but the nails are new.”

GROSS….. GROSS GROSS GROSS… and STUPID.

 

 

“The VIEW” women need to SHUT the F*** UP

I was just researching something for an article, when I happened to come across a couple-month-old article on Bonnie Fuller’s Hollywoodlife.com (the site is GREAT!). It was a recap of what the women on “The View” thought of William & Kate’s Royal Wedding. These “ladies” need to learn some MANNERS and RESPECT. Especially about ROYALTY that has spanned CENTURIES.

First of all Sherri, she looked absolutely BEAUTIFUL. REGAL. ROYAL. Perhaps the only reason you don’t like it is out of jealousy- you’re SHORT, FAT ASS, and nowhere NEAR her caliber in the looks department. You could NEVER look like this if you tried. LOOK AT YOU:

—————————————————————————————————-

Joy, was that supposed to be funny? Are you trying to be a comedienne again? “A bumblebee with a drinking problem?” I don’t even get it…. She’s not wearing BLACK and yellow, F***ING IDIOT. And when did you become an expert on what Queens wear? How would YOU know if they DO or DON’T wear yellow?? You don’t see queens because you’re not around royalty DUMBASS. You’re making comments just to make them. No one wants to hear that nasal-y whiny voice of yours anyway, so just shut up.

Oh, but she keeps on running her stupid mouth. “Shmata on her head”? “Nunlike”?? “Mother Teresa”??? All I hear is a WHINY New York (married into) Jew making Jewish references. First, here is a picture of Mother Teresa:

I don’t see a resemblance anywhere. Aside from the obvious (looks), a comparison to Mother Teresa should be a compliment- she did wonders in Humanitarian efforts. But instead, you use her as an INSULT.  Since YOU are the “resident Jew” here, YOU should A.)be proud of your fellow people, and B.) know the correct meaning of Shmata: “A yiddish term for a rag, towel, or washclothes”.

I Don’t know WHO you people think YOU ARE to compare RAGS to the MCQUEEN dress that Kate wore on her WEDDING DAY, the most SPECIAL of all days in a woman’s life??   You, Joy, need to learn some manners, and stop acting like you’re the “hot sh**” at the table. And Sherri, look in the mirror before you critique other’s looks.

When you’re dead and gone, no one’s going to remember you. But Kate and that dress will be in History books.

Joy: maybe we should put a SHMATA over YOUR FACE. Would sure help from the looks of it.

LADIES: Wearing makeup IS NOT a choice!!

I LOVE this story…. this girl is so STUPID!!!!

Harrod’s, one of THE most WELL KNOWN and PRESTIGIOUS shopping destinations in THE WORLD has a former employee complaining she had to quit after being asked to wear makeup….

Melanie Stark is 24, and was sent home TWICE because she opted not to wear makeup. UM…. I WOULD SEND YOU HOME TOO!!!  LOOK AT HER!!!!

"I don't need to wear makeup"

It’s ONE THING to have “natural look”, and ANOTHER to look LIKE THIS at WORK!!!! Especially for a HIGH- END RETAIL STORE!!!!

THE COMPANY DRESS CODE POLICY STATES:

“FULL MAKEUP AT ALL TIME: BASE, BLUSH, FULL EYES (NOT TOO HEAVY) LINER, LIPSTICK, AND GLOSS ARE WORN AT ALL TIMES AND MAINTAINED DISCREETLY. PLEASE TAKE IN TO ACCOUNT THE STORE DISPLAY LIGHTING (WHICH HAS A WASHING OUT EFFECT)”.

If you get hired for a store which ALREADY HAS THESE RULES, then you need to ABIDE by them!!!  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE that makes you ABOVE them, Melanie?? What makes YOU think you’re SOOOOO special and exempt??

She states, “I was so appalled.” “It was insulting.” “Basically, it was implying it was an improvement.”

Then, “I couldn’t go through with it again, and they weren’t compromising”

( BIIIIG EYE ROLLLLLL….. and BIIIIG SIIIIIGH……)

YOU DUMB STUPID GIRL!!!!! WTF is WRONG with you?????? THEY don’t need to compromise, YOU’RE the F***ING EMPLOYEE!!!!

Now here’s the BEST PART- A writer named Liz Jones, who works  for  The Daily Mail, writes some GREAT POINTS:

“A recent survey of employers found the reason so many jobs are given to immigrant workers is simple: BRITISH WORKERS DON’T WANT TO MAKE THE EFFORT! They think the world owes them a living, and their “rights” as an individual are all that matters. They have such ENLARGED EGOS, so much “sense of self”, that they cannot SUBJUGATE THEMSELVES to anyone else anymore. Not even the boss.”

And my FAVORITE PART:

“Why does this young woman think her desire to show us her OPEN PORES and RUDDY COMPLEXION outweighs the wishes of her employer to present a polished face to the customer?”

I couldn’t have said it better……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY CURRENT “IT” GIRL – Rosie Huntington-Whitely

TELL ME there’s something out there more beautiful right now….. I dare you.

I’ve known about this girl BEFORE she was “Ms. New-Transformer-Chick”, and loved her ever since I saw her walking for Victoria’s Secret. All I can say is I can’t WAIT for more…. her career is now set!!!

So, for a nice day with NO CRITICISM from me (shocker, I know), please just enjoy the following pics 🙂

 

PERFECTION!!!!!

Kate Middleton’s COMPLETE North America LOOKS!!

The whirlwind 9 day North American tour for the newly married Royal couple is over…. from Canada to California, here are the looks Ms. Catherine chose:

CANADA

She LOVES her J Brand jeans… she wore 3 different times, and this style- 811 midrise skinny crop, which sells for $189… is already sold out in the US. THAT’S SOME POWER OF PUBLICITY FOR YOU! The navy blazer is Smyth, and EVERY woman should own something like this- it’s a lot better than a hoodie! ps: the navy is great- black is WAY TOO business-y. Shoes (in right pic) are Sebago. Not my favorite.

Collared dress by Catherine Walker. You know why this is great??? It was one of Diana’s favorite designers, and they are on their way to a tree-planting ceremony in her honor… (“awww”)

Dress by ERDEM. Kate wore this arriving to Canada. I say “good choice”! Who doesn’t love a little black lace and showing some leg? But she did it PROPERLY by wearing sleeves and a high neckline.

Stetson Hat…. I’m glad they got it out of their system in Canada.

Another ERDEM dress… She knows what fits her best! Show some leg- keeping the length “royal-appropriate”,  while covering arms and chest… You can’t ALWAYS show it all off!! She has a TINY waist, and GREAT legs… not to forget AMAZING HAIR!!!!!

In JENNY PACKHAM at the Calgary Airport…. I’m all about “airport outfits”. Gone are the luxury days of travel, where you actually LOOK GREAT while traveling, opposed to wearing your sweats… (gross).  Can this look GET any Better??

Arriving at ANOTHER airport in Canada, Prince Edward Island…. wearing Joseph. There are those nude shoes again by L.K. BENNETT. When you travel this much in such a small amount of time, you’ve GOT to recycle some parts of the wardrobe! (I prefer COMPLETELY different outfits, but in her case- how many cities, how many functions, in 2 countries, in 9 days??? Yeah, I’d probably recycle too…. Thankfully it’s something NOT OVERPOWERING, and blends in with the outfit, as opposed to DISTRACTING from it.)

Wearing Nautical-themed McQueen at a seaside town…. how charming. She does need to have SOME fun on this trip!

Probably my FAVORITE look of hers in CANADA…. dress is by MALENE BIRGERSH. Even though it’s so simple, the WAIST is the first thing I look at, it’s so small, and looks GREAT! Simple clean color scheme, and she looks HAPPY! (that’s the best part of the outfit- having the right attitude!)

In REISS dress for another ceremony. Wearing the Canadian colors… with a Maple Leaf in the Hat…… a little Kitsch-y, a little too theme-y, but like I said: she needs to have some fun on this trip. Can you imagine ALL the speeches, and ALL the hand-shaking and formalities?? I WOULD NEED to wear a costume too!

ISSA dress and PRADA shoes.  The dress is the SAME DRESS STYLE as the NAVY BLUE she wore to the engagement announcement. (if you know what fits you…). Not my favorite- the shoes are too dark a contrast, and I don’t like her hair up!!! She has great hair, why is it up?? I know it can’t ALWAYS be down, but this is boring 😦

 

NOW IT’S TIME FOR: CALIFORNIA…. IN MY CITY – L.A.!!!!!

You KNOW she’s in L.A .NOW!!!!! SLEEVELESS AND SHORT?!?!? WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!!! Dress by Roksanda Illincic. Is it just the lavender color, or does she ALREADY look TAN??? Mystic? Bronzer? Whatever she did befor exiting that plane at LAX is WORKING!!!

THIS is a PRINCESS……. ! This is ALEXANDER MCQUEEN to the BAFTA AWARDS in Hollywood. How fun is that? An evening with fellow Brits, Celebrities, and Red Carpet? Hopefully she liked it, because I could watch her on red carpets ANY day… LOOK AT HER WAIST!!!!!  Official- The best in Hollywood!

At a reception in Hancock Park,(5 min from me) at the home of British Consulate. Here they welcomed friends and guests, (including David Beckham). She is wearing a DVF dress… (Diane Von Furstenburg for all you learning). How cool- in LA for a day, and already at a Hancock Park House Party??? She’s definitely more fun in California!!!!

In JENNY PACKHAM for a Polo Tournament in Santa Barbara…. SEE! She’s letting go of the formality, and enjoying the freedom Cali brings- Sleeveless AGAIN AND  showing leg! Notice the OPEN-TOED NUDE SHOES NOW????

Wearing from London highstreet shop, WHISTLES. A conservative, but young outfit for visiting inner city Skid Row children. I think it would have been wiser to wear jeans- and cover up: that place is SCARY!

 

Well, we got to see Kate in many different looks, lots of the same shoes, (and jeans) and make all women jealous of her waistline- Does this mean she’ll start a trend for diets? (One can hope….) Since she has made a frenzy over the J BRAND jeans, she sure has got the ladies taking note!

 

All in all, she has definitely catapulted herself into a style icon of today….