Category Archives: Music

Olympic’s 2012 FASHION GOLD

 

For all us fashion folk and Gen Xers: As if the all-awaited rumors of the Spice Girls reunion wasn’t enough- we got all the fashion/supermodel bonus!

It was as if the Gods of Fashion, Gays, And Girl Power all came and united- Who doesn’t love Models at a Party???

First- George Michael sings, “FREEDOM”, the 90’s anthem to EVERYONE- just watch the music video- every supermodel from the 90’s was in it!

As the different English bands were featured, all of a sudden, David Bowie’s “FASHION” song came on while HUGE trucks featuring large photos of some of Britain’s iconic models. Then… when all trucks were entered- the photos dropped to reveal the actual models inside, dripping in gold designs!!! Oh LORD- it was AMAZING! First Naomi, then Kate, Stella… it was brilliant.

A Fashionable Olympic Closing Ceremony

Kate Moss of course being my ALL TIME FAVE EVER looked SO F’ING AMAZING, and with her, Naomi Campbell- who (look below- WORKED that walk!!!) ¬†Lily Donaldson, Stella Tenant, Karen Elson, Jourdan Dunn, and the always handsome David Gandy.

The different designers worn were: Alexander McQueen, Vivienne Westwood, Erdem, Burburry, Christopher Kane, and of course our lovely newbie; Victoria Beckham. ūüôā

And now… lets hear it for the Spice Girls!

SPICE GIRLS OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONY 2012

This moment was THE one I had been waiting for- to see all 5 girls back up there, and of course, KNEW they would sing “Spice up your life”… Brilliant Fun. Of course they all looked great, but because I’m obsessed with Posh, I had to throw in an extra shot of her…

I MEAN….. GODDDAAAAAAAMN!!! HOTHOTHOT!!

As for the breakdown of who/wore/what:

Posh- Giles Deacon black (duh) dress showing LOTSA LEG!

Ginger- Suzanne Neville red bustier dress (w/ Union Jack of course!)

Baby- Maggie Cooke pink dress with crystal shoulders

Scary- Zuhair Murad sequined bodysuit

Sporty- (unknown sporty jumper)

Needless to say- Best part of the night!!!!

 

AND THEN…….

to finish the evening, my ALL TIME FAVE Victoria’s Secret Model ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO stepped out dancing to honor/participate in the passing of the torch to next games city of RIO!!!!!

WTF is WRONG with BEYONCE’S STYLIST?????

We are hearby looking at a HORRIBLE mistake, and quite frankly, a DISASTER. Actually, more like GROUNDS FOR FIRING Beyonce’s stylist. Let me explain dear readers…

On the left, we have newly pregnant Beyonce, whom I ADORE, attending a party during the Fall 2011 New York Fashion Week. In this photo, she is attending the opening of Tory Burch’s Madison flagship (which is a mystery in itself- Tory Burch? If I see one more of those medallion flats I’m gonna kill a girl!). She is wearing a Michaels Kors dress from his “Pre Fall 2011” collection. Which you think would be acceptable, seeing as it is Fall 2011.

Only problem, Leighton Meester already wore this dress:

IN JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT’S 9 MONTHS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEYONCE CAN WEAR ANYTHING BY ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leighton wore the dress to the premier of her movie “The Roomate” in Los Angeles. She was photographed in this dress; those photos were published. HOW DID THE STYLIST NOT KNOW that this dress was ALREADY WORN 9 MONTHS AGO on a step & repeat/red carpet? WHO at Michael Kors is the DUMBASS that let this stylist pul the dress for Beyonce and NOT SAY ANYTHING?????

We all know Tina Knowles usually does the styling, so if this is Momma’s fault, it’s time for the elderly citizen’s home! If not, then FIRE WHOEVER DID THIS!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Kim Kardashian “Music Video” Leaked

So, I love the Kardashians. I do. I watch it every Sunday, and if I’m not home, my DVR is recording it. I’ve also watched the Miami, New York, and Khloe & Lamar spin-offs. Really. I think the show is like a modern day Brady Bunch, where every episode has a lesson to be learned that can relate to all other families out there. Sure their means of living are beyond most of America, but you know what I mean. Everyone “wants” their life. ¬†Basically, I am the perfect audience Kris Jenner is looking for. In fact, I would LOVE to have her be my Mom-ager! Or at least hang out with her. She has more business savvy in her little finger than most people do in their entire family combined. Kris Jenner is BRILLIANT. She has created an EMPIRE.

And now, witness the first ¬†mistake ūüė¶

Not that she is ENTIRELY responsible for this. Kim’s singing is not going to take her anywhere- we all know that. If she’s doing it just for fun, great! But I feel she’s taking this a lil too far. She had the embarrassment and hurt of her sex tape, and now with this video clip, it shows nothing BUTT her A**!!! The images are ALL SEX!!

Who is this demographic you’re trying to reach? Men- you got them- They’re looking at her like meat. Women- they’re going to call her horrible names. Parents- going to think she’s a bad influence. Teens- going to be more “Sixteen & Pregnant” happening (we DON’T want that)!

Sure, we all know sex sells, but this is borderline PORN. Kris, isn’t this the WRONG message to be sending out about your daughter? And releasing it now that she’s married? Hmmm…….. (thanx to Perez for the leak)

Kim- you’re gorgeous, we all know that. I’ve written about you on here before, telling you so. I hope this is out of your system, because even though we all like looking at you, the LYRICS are HORRIBLE, and the video is PORN. ¬†(Really, Somebody LIED to You!!)

Please, Kardashian Klan- ¬†don’t let us down again. I feel bad about writing something negative against you guys, but that SONG and VIDEO is HORRIBLE! ūüė¶

VMA’s 2011: Very “Mis-led” Artists

HERE WE GO! MTV’S VMA 2011 gives us ¬†a lot of celebs, celebrealities, and musicians. Basically, everything from: “alotta look”,… “really?”,… ¬†and “who ARE you?”!

Beyonce in Lanvin. She can do no wrong. AND… she announced she is PREGNANT!!!!! CONGRATS Ms. B!!!!! Love this girl…. She ROCKED her performance, and expose her bump as the crowd cheered. SHE IS an ICON.

Jojo… I love this girl too… where has she been? I like the edgy black… BUT WHAT is THAT on her BUTT???? I know girls want nice butts, but this is a lil TOO BIG!!! She needs to be careful tho…. the longer I look at this photo, the more I think she’s starting to look like JWOW…. (and I don’t think thats a compliment…)

Speaking of JWOW, here she is with Snooki

This is what happens when you come from nowhere and get ALOT of money VERY quickly. ¬†JWOW lost weight, went from (probably) size 4 to a size 2/0… and put it all back on with plastic surgery. the BOOBS! the LIPS! And her eyes: is it the makeup, or is she botoxed like crazy??? Also, she should have worn a basic Louboutin pump- those shoes DO NOT make this outfit look “classier”. ¬†And YES, I’m admitting this right now…. Snooki has NEVER LOOKED BETTER!!!! Even though she has the streaks, (no) and the shoes (Steve Madden?!?!?) are too big, she looks better than most days. This just goes to show: you can’t take Jersey outta the girls!

Jersey castmate Deena Cortese….. like I said: JERSEY. Ladies, please don’t try this at home. Or anywhere else. Ever. Thanks.

Soo…. this is the first time I have EVER had to say, think, admit, feel this way: KIM’s GOT A FAT A**!!!! And she just got married…. WHICH MEANS she is at her THINNEST for that wedding dress…. Kris has MORE than a handful. DAMN!!

Nicki Minaj IS the NEW Lady Gaga…. WHERE IS THEIR DUET?!?!??!?! This girl is CRAZY! We all know she loves being a Barbie, and here, she is OFFICIALLY HARAJUKU BARBIE. I don’t even know where, what, how, or why…. but SHE is going to be my Halloween costume for this year!!!!!!!!! (not this outfit, but something cuckoo). Her outfit is by ¬†Japanese designer Shojono Tomo. Also: LOVE that “SUPERBASS” WON best HIP HOP VIDEO!!!! I’M OBSESSED with that song!!!

We were ALLL WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT!!!!! THE BIG QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: WHAT WILL GAGA WEAR?!?!?!??! ¬†¬†She has been in an egg, she has worn meat…. what could be next??? MAN DRAG!!!!! Her gender bending identity turns heads, creates controversy, and brings attention to equality issues. Some say she’s annoying, some think she’s too much… She kept the ACT UP the WHOLE NIGHT! (c’mon- THAT’s TALENT!!!)

What is Miley Cyrus wearing? What is this? She looks FAT & BLOATED!!! Not a good choice…..she looks OLD. ¬†Her stylist lied to her.

Katy Perry…. dressed asian style. ¬†Um… I think she heard about Nicki’s outfit, and decided to do a “safe white girl version”. (Nicki won this one) I’m so TIRED of her TRYING!! STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!! And then she changed:

WTF??!?!?!?!?! WHY????? whay is that on your head??!?! IT’S NOT FASHION!!!!!! ITS’S SOOOO STUPID!!!!!

Britney Spears, in another boring black outfit. With those STUPID hooker-looking half bootie that MAKES HER LEGS LOOK SHORT AND STUMPY. She ALWAYS wears these!!! BORED!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the VMA’s- LIVE A LITTLE!!!!! AND YOU RECEIVED THE VANGUARD AWARD!!!!

Taylor Lautner. He can wear anything. A blazer and a henley? Yup. He may be a young’n, but I’m all for going to see his upcoming film “Abducted”.

Kelly Rowland… wearing dress by Falguni and Shane Peacock. ¬†I like this, Its cool, edgy, fun. I.m a sucker for great makeup, but sorry Kel- this is TOO MUCH makeup! It’s cakes on like a DRAG QUEEN! I have met this girl, and she is Gorgeous as is- she doesn’t need all of that covering her face!

Adele. I LOVE this girl!!! the VOICE!!!! (Her performance was chillingly amazing!) ¬†NO ONE can EVER say I don’t love a girl with a lil weight, because here is my proof! ūüôā She’s nominated for 7 AWARDS, and she is 23. ¬†She wears SAFE basic black, and she is ROCKIN’ some BIG A** HAIR… L.O.V.E. The only thing that creeped me out was her LONG nails… fine for GAGA, fine for Rihanna… but too much for her.

*****************MEN WHO LOOK LIKE SH%#************************

Jake Busey….. Yup,… don’t even have to guess… Gary’s son. Don’t even try to have a career Jake- you look EXACTLY like your dad, and people are going to make fun of you both for the rest of your life. GO HOME NOW

JC Chasez – wow…. life has been HARD on this guy. And no makeup. Time for a new image consultant. STAT.

Steven “Cojo” Cojocaru. Remember him. He was a “style” expert. He got very sick. He came back a woman. I mean, reeeallly?

Tyga. His “name” means “thank you God always”. (sigh). He is new to the scene. (wearing Versace (?!)) But the OVERALL LOOK…???? It’s “alotta look”. Too much look. Before your career starts- hire a stylist.

Tyler, The Creator. (BIIIIG SIIIIIGH)….. Yeah, that’s his “name”. What are these guys thinking? How are they helping IMPROVE our world??? He won for “Best New Artist”. ¬†REALLY. His acceptance speech was so bleeped out, I had NO IDEA what he even said. He’s 20. With a start like that, he’s looking to be the next Kanye: a big F’ing D-Bag. And that’s WITHOUT me even talking about his F***ing choice of outfit.

************* THE MEN ARE WEARING DESIGNER********************

Busta Rhymes in… (Gucci?!) Well, at least it looks like it. The red & green striping… I just am not sure about Gucci making that collar…… Hmmmm….

Kevin Hart. YSL belt. Hmm… seeing a lot of YSL lately. Maybe since they just opened in Beverly Center. I loke this style (it’s a lil too “street” for me), but in general- I would ROCK everything from the belt up.

Ace Hood in Versace. Well, a Versace shirt anyway….. and belt (not in this pic). Versace IS making a comeback…. Lady Gaga, the H&M collab….. and now in the hip-hop community. ¬†Hell Yeah.

Justin Beiber, wearing a YSL pin on his jacket lapel… hmm… more YSL. ¬†He’s also wearing RED PANTS and LEOPARD PRINT SHOES (NOT CUTE). And to MAKE THIS WORSE- ¬†he has a F***ING SNAKE IN HIS HAND!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!? When Selena Gomez asked him about it, he said,” I brought my snake with me” (she asked it’s name), he said, “Johnson”….. REEEAALLLY??!?! On Television?!!?! We all know what that implies… so stupid. Beware moms’… he’s turning!

******************NEW GENERATION GIRLS***************************

Bonnie McKee…. WHO????? (Ysl shoes…..) ¬†She was born in 84… and is responsible for WRITING Britney’s “Hold it against me” and Katy’s “California girls” and “Teenage Dream”. I was gonna say that she looks more “hooker” than songwriter- ¬†she dresses like the songs she writes. But you know what? She’s getting her bills paid. BIG TIME. At her age, she might as well dress like that while she can!

“Chanel”…. yes, her name is Chanel. I’m sure Coco is screaming in her grave. Nothing here says Chanel. Who is this???? She was an Australian Idol runner-up. She is in an Australian trip-hop group.

Jessie J. Recently hurt herself, so came out to sing covers of every song known during commercial breaks. I think she took something from Cee Lo Green’s closet! She is 23, and has written songs for Miley and Chris Brown. ¬†Let’s see if her clothing matures ¬†with her career.

Liz Lee…. WHO?!?!?!?!? the star of “My Life as Liz”. Am I too old? Guess so…. But I AM old enough to SCHOOL HER on APPROPRIATE DRESS for a carpet:

WTF SHOES ARE THOSE?!?  WITH WHITE SOCKS???? BOOTS UNZIPPED???

ugly…. gross…. sloppy. What a way to represent yourself, your show, and all the people trying to get your career going- I would either quit or fire her.

Shirley Manson from Garbage?? NOPE! Bjork?? NOPE. It’s new singer Skylar Grey. It’s a lil too “Beetle Juice” for me. Of all nights to dress up and look cool, for the world to see- this is it?? Not interested…………

BET Awards… ( I’ll keep it brief )

Soooo… the BET awards were recently held, and the hip hop community stepped out in all its “Fashionable Glory”.

Seeing as there were too many things to cite, and my disappointment is outweighed by the fact that I DON’T CARE: I will spare you my rants- and keep it to the minimum. The following don’t deserve the attention anyway… sad, but true.

Here are the choice “highlights”:

Alicia Keys, in Dolce & Gabbana…

Now, look at her face-I think she’s confused. ¬†But then again, I WOULD BE TOO if my DIZZY Louboutins matched the DIZZY graphics on the “step and repeat” wall!!! It’s ONE thing to dressACCORDINGLY to an event, but it’s ANOTHER to dress LIKE the event!

 

Busta Rhymes, in.. ????

The only thing I’m happy about is the YSL belt…. and that his AMAZING RAP is the ONLY thing that makes Chris Brown’s “Look at me now” worth listening to.

Willow Smith, in.. something fished out from the dumpsters?

Here’s what I’m MOST worried about: she’s so frigging young, that i’m giong to have to see YEARS OF THIS… JUST QUIT WHILE YOU’RE AHEAD!!! JUST GO AWAY!

Nicki Minaj, in…. ???

I actually wasted 15 min trying to find out what she wore, (and found nothing)….. which means HORRIBLE NEWS: HER P.R .PEOPLE ARE F***ING STUPID!!! She is probably THE HOTTEST rapper/hip-hop star out there RIGHT NOW, and NOWHERE on the internet has info on WHAT SHE’S WEARING??? ¬†SHE CAN GET ANY DESIGNER!!!! Dear Nicki- I love your STYLE, but not you STYLE-IST… she LIED TO YOU!!! FIRED!!!

 

Cee- Lo Green, trying to do an impersonation, (sorry, “TRIBUTE”) to Patti LaBelle.

Another one- JUST GO AWAY!!! PLEEEEEEEEASE…..GOOOOOO AWAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

 

Kerry Washington, in Michael Kors.

Daytime carpet (grass, at that), bright spring dress,… CHECK! Black pointy indoor office secretary pumps??? Really, with a GOWN??? GROSS. “Hey Kerry, FIRE your stylist- they LIED TO YOU!”

Mary J. Blige, in Herve Ledger….

I love Mary, we all do. She is the Queen of feeling “Superwoman Female Empowerment”. However, that “dress” doesn’t look like she’s gonna kick an abusive man’s ass- it looks like she broke free from him tying her up! Strappy dress, strappy shoes…. ¬†STRAP HER BACK UP! Also, side note: “Mary- you’re getting up there in age… time to start dressing a little more appropriate ( INCLUDING the hairstyles – you’re not 25 anymore)”.

 

Wiz Khalifa, and Amber Rose, wearing…. TRASH.

REALLY ??? For an AWARDS SHOW???? Her VERSACE shoes are THE ONLY THING I LIKE. Grow up people- you’ll never be respected for looking like SH*T.

Big Sean, in… a leftover, re-used carseat found in some junkyard with a belt from an 80’s pawnshop …. DID SOMEONE REALLY SAY, “Hey, you look great!” ??????????

WWWTTTTFFF???????

Chris Brown,….

A Message for you: You’re not cool, you’re not a male version of Lady Gaga.. just because you try and dress “weird” ¬†doesn’t make you “edgy”. ¬†You look F***ING STUPID.

And then this outfit to take pics with the Press. A HOODIE, with JEAN SHORTS??????

YOU ARE WAAAAAY BENEATH ¬†RIHANNA , Chris….. WAAAY BENEATH…….

 

The Grammys, 2011: It’s All about the EGG

First off:  WHO THE HELL IS ESPERANZA SPAULDING??!?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah, we now know she has performed at the White House, and toured with Prince. AFTER THE SNUB. I am NOT a Justin Beiber fan, but C’MON: BEST NEW ARTIST?????!!?!?!?!? We ALLL KNOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HIM…WTF?!??!?

Some group, “Mumford & Sons”, (even that NAME is hideous) look like the new cast for “Deliverance”. Look at the tool in the trucker hat and Colonel Sanders tie… REALLY?!?! REEEEAAALLLYY??!?!?! ¬†THIS IS HILLBILLY TO THE MAX. And just watch their performance, (if u even can) especially the keyboard player. Then watch a Muppet/Fraggle Rock video… I rest my case…. weird freaks

Jennifer Hudson, in Versace. NOW THIS IS HOW YOU DRESS FOR THE GRAMMYS, FOR A RED CARPET, TO PRESENT YOURSELF TO THE WORLD.  Absolutely Perfect. L.O.V.E.

Rihanna. While she may be one of my faves, I think she took to a Valentines Day theme WAY to much. With the Red hair AND her body covered in Whipped Creme from a CAN???? (not really, but this John Paul Gaultier is not pretty).

Miley Cyrus in Roberto Cavalli. “Hey Miley, Zena the Warrior Princess called. She wants her costume back.”

Haley Williams from Paramour, in a custom Jeremy Scott…”creation”. ¬†This has got to be one of the UGLIEST things I HAVE EVER SEEN. If that thing was sent to me to have someone wear, I would send it back saying , “HELL NO! NOT EVEN FOR FREE!”. Horrible.

Jennifer Lopez in Pucci. This is the Hottest thing I saw go down the red carpet. Those LEGS! That HAIR! My fave spike Louboutins! The ‘come hither’ look!….

BUT THEN……

KIM KARDASHIAN! O..M…G….. F*** ME!! This is PER-FEC-TION!!! THAT IS THE BEST HAIR (even if extensions!) I HAVE EVER SEEN (move over Giselle hair). THOSE EYES!! (she has best makeup). THE BOOBS! (showing lots of skin, but NOT VULGAR!) and The Slit on the legs….. I want to find her, pick her up, and give her the biggest hug/squeeze, and yell,”THANK YOU!!!!!”

Heidi Klum & Seal. (SIGH…) SEALS SHOES!!! AGAIN!!!!! REAPEAT F******* OFFENSE!!! HE JUST WORE THEM @ THE EMMYS LAST MONTH!!!!!(check out my Emmy posting to see!) HEIDI- WTF is WRONG with YOU!?!?!! You’re who America and the world is supposed to look to for “STYLE”, and “FASHION”??? You let your OWN HUSBAND leave the house in a 90’s era 3/4 length Blazer? ¬†AND THOSE UGLS ASS SHOES ..AGAIN…. (BIG, BIG, SIGH…)

Nicki Minaj, in: a lot of leopard. I don’t know what to say, except: “RAWR”

Willow Smith, wearing Ugly. Oh, GOD, where do I start…..the SHOELACES IN THE HAIR? See, she’s too young!!! she doesn’t even know how to tie them on her feet! (Maybe her parents did it to keep her head ON when she “whips her hair back and forth, whips her hair back and forth.” And WHAT’S WITH THAT “clutch/bag/thing”???? A moving Carousel bag? It’s probably the Mobile that hangs above her crib…. REALLY?!?!?!?!?!!?!

Justin Beiber, in a white tux and kicks.  I like this (because I like white tuxes- wore this look for New Years- copycat) He looks great, eye catching, and PERFECT FOR ALL THE PHOTOS of his WIN (oops..) THAT HE SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED!

Katy Perry. I don’t care if it was ARMANI. Or that you “brought my ¬†own Grammy” ( her Grandma- cheeze)… WTF is with the WINGS? Just because you sang at the recent Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it doesn’t give you the right to try and be an ANGEL. Your pretty, but your not a model. (I’m guessing she took a cue from Lindsey, and stole them after the runway show.)

Ricky Martin….the sexy singer, the new dad, the now out and proud gay man, (the man whose concert I have been to 2 times, have sat on the dancers bus, have met him twice, AND OWN his ¬†“Bon-Bon” Shaking Armani leather pants from “Living La Vida Loca” tour), the Latin lover that can do no wrong…sadly, he finally did. NOOO!!!! WHY!!!!??? the pants are TOOO tight ( I know, how can that be), and the boots heighth made his legs look shorter and stumpy, and that DAMN TIE kept twisting around backwards. I feel I will see this outfit mimicked in Weho. Ricky, for you- LESS is MORE ūüôā I will dress you!!

…..and now, the ARRIVAL of GAGA…..

…followed by her performance. First: the other day, was having dinner with friends, and we were all thinking of what she was going to wear. I said she has done everything crazy, she should go naked. And low and behold, this is as naked as you can get! Nude tones, and all the dancers stripped down to nude underwear. Am I on a GAGA trend? ¬†She ROCKED the performance, and SHE “whipped her hair!” Those prosthetic shoulder protrusions were certainly weird, but I would expect nothing less. In fact, THOSE shoulders started a trend…..that the next 2 below failed to pull off

Monica…. I didn’t mind it at first, but then realized that neckline is CHOKING her! She OBVIOUSLY heard about GAGA’s shoulders, and must have wanted in on the action. Maybe she thought, “If I have them, maybe my career will come back!”

And the Sadness continues with Snookie. those lame shoulder puffs? REALLY??! Who dresses her? WHO LIED TO YOU??! It’s like “Dynasty” gone all wrong… all that jewelry, the earings, the cuffs?? She looks like Chuy Bravo in Drag!!!

“Snookie?” Just call her “Sausage”.

Lastly, and I really want to know why…. WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???!?! THIS IS THE GRAMMYS, NOT MTV. CLASS IT UP, DUMBA**. Even HE performed with Muppets! This GAGA egg thing hatched a BIRD, no, a PLANE, no… ELTON JOHN WITH A TAN? It’s just sooooo disturbing. Seriously: what sane person thinks, “oh that’s cool, I’m going to wear that..”. WTF & WLTY!

 

 

 

ps: thank u to Celebuzz, justjared, wireimage, and getty images.

 

AMA’S 2010- the good, bad, & “WHY ARE U HERE?!”

So…. after watching the PAINFULLY slow and sad excuse for “Live on the Red Carpet at the AMA’s”, and even worse, ALLLL the commercial breaks; 20 min in: I DVR’ed it.¬† Thankfully, that led me to breeze on by with the touch of my fast forward (times 5) to get to the good stuff. Surprisingly happy, I found alot of GREAT¬† Red Carpet looks. Of course, there are the usual FUG’s, (like Ke$ha- God, I wish there was a “cent” symbol instead of a “$” symbol), but there were alot of RANDOM’S too…¬† Since there were TOO MANY to count, I will make my rantings brief…. ENJOY!

Avril…. tell me, how would I know if this “look” is from last night, or from 6 years ago? I WOULDN’T. The pink and black streaks, the black and white punk thing, her saying “amazeballs” on television..¬†DAMMIT, JUST GROW UP!

Christina Milian…. here she looks cute¬†(usually HOT)..¬†I always had a slight crush on her. “Say I” video? HOT! “Whatever You Want” video? FINE! But what are you doing here? Why aren’t you up there SINGING? I walked through the mall the other day, and saw her on a Disney Xmas tv movie poster… I WANT MUSIC!

Fergie… she can do NO wrong. She is HOT, has AMAZING LEGS, and no matter WHO tells me they think her face is all worked on, I still think she is FINE!

Hey GAVIN… YOU’RE ON A RED CARPET, LIVE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE YOU, AT AN AWARDS SHOW!!! FOR ONE DAY: DRESS THE F*** UP! Your wife has a CLOTHING line, TAKE A F****** HINT, or DON’T SHOW UP! Why¬†ARE¬†YOU here ANYWAY?

Heidi…¬†face(hair/makeup) is beautiful. But you RUN a FASHION¬†EMPIRE with clothing line, jewelry, and of course PROJECT RUNWAY. So WLTY and told you this was¬†a good look?? in YOUR own words, ”¬†I’m sorry, YOU’RE OUT!”

¬†Lance… the only way you’re still in the music scene is by being here on this carpet, so¬†make a good impression, and¬†MAKE SURE YOUR F******* TIE IS ON RIGHT!! WTF?

Willow… this is the most EMBARRASING THING I have EVER seen a child “star” (cough, cough) EVER wear in my ENTIRE LIFE. WLTY???? YOUR MOM LET YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE LIKE THIS??? Your 10 YEARS OLD!!!!! I see CAMELTOE! Those BOOTS?!?! from your mom’s closet?? AND THAT YELLOW STRAIGHTJACKET????!¬† This is WORSE THAN ANYTHING Ke$ha has EVER WORN, and she wears GARBAGE!!!

Ke$ha… what’s scary about this, is that (minus her face and “clutch”) she’s actually “decent”(dare I EVEN say that)! OKAY, we GET IT! You’re “Anti-Establishment”, “F the man”, “Rock, Man!”¬†and all that crap. WHAT’S WITH THE HAIR and MAKEUP? REALLY…. and ALLLLLLLLLLL your songs sound the EXAAAAAAAAAAACT same. God, I’m so SICK of this person!

Katy… BEAUTIFUL!, NOT TACKY or KITSCHY! (But I would have preferred shortening the dress to above the knee). and then… your performance outfit:

¬†“Y” is “YAY” for CAMELTOE!

TAYLOR SWIFT: THANK YOU!!!!! YOU WERE THE MOST GORGEOUS LOOKING DOLL FACED WOMAN… THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!

Nicki… I like her, cuz she’s cuckoo. Her performances, with her bug eyes, when she sings really fast: cuckoo… but I like it.¬† I GET that she wore something crazy, because that’s her “character”.¬†But I thought that Green was a FUR collar for the longest time! My dissapointment came when she was announcing the winner, and she RUDELY yelled out a plug for her album release date… RIGHT BEFORE THE NAME OF THE WINNER. She might as well be Kanye 2.0…..

Justin… you’re not in my demographic, so there’s no reason for me to like you. But your performance last night: GOOD JOB! It was well done, and even a bit touching. Now lets get down to your outfit. You’re NOT Michael Jackson, so the black and white armband shirt?¬† Lose it.. you will never be of¬†that caliber. We know Usher’s your mentor, but you’re white… lose the big necklaces and the big high tops. Be original, not a copycat. We’ve already seen you before, with Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter, Aaron Carter, and all those other teens before.

Miley: Love the Red Carpet look – you’re 18 now, so the shorter the better, and it looks great on you.

Performance outfit? I’ve already seen this, and I have 2 words for you: Stevie Nicks.

Rihanna… sexy, and looking like a WOMAN! You’re giving me¬†a little Toni Braxton, a little Halle Berry. I think this is a GREAT LOOK! Now, about your performance look:

Uh, not so much… I know you were going for a more tribal, Caribbe feel, but this looks like you got the outfit from a thrift store. I JUST BOUGHT YOUR “R” BOOK! With all the FASHION I KNOW YOU FOR IN IT! What is THIS????

John Legend… love the voice, but WTF is with your SHOES!?!?!? Those are not ONLY the FILTHIEST I have ever seen ( U KNOW UR ON A RED CARPET, RIGHT??!?!?) but they are ALSO STEPPING ON YOUR DATE’S BEAUTIFUL DRESS!!!!! THANK GOD for her, because she toook ALLLLL the attention away from YOU!

***** FOR THE FOLLOWING WOMEN: WHY WERE YOU HERE??******

Jenny… You look great, but what’s the point?

Jessica: you look ok. Boring actually, and you’re a pretty girl. Why were you here? Oh, because you presented (as a¬†plug for your role in the upcoming “Little Fockers” movie). Unfortunately, when the ONE preview showed during a commercial break, you weren’t even in it. So I ask again: what’s the point?

Mandy… you’re a cute girl, and you’re even nice too! I like your films, (in SAVED, “I am FILLED with God’s love!” as you throw the bible… something I still reenact with friends). But Why are you here???? It’s been so long, I forgot you exist!