So…. after watching the PAINFULLY slow and sad excuse for “Live on the Red Carpet at the AMA’s”, and even worse, ALLLL the commercial breaks; 20 min in: I DVR’ed it. Thankfully, that led me to breeze on by with the touch of my fast forward (times 5) to get to the good stuff. Surprisingly happy, I found alot of GREAT Red Carpet looks. Of course, there are the usual FUG’s, (like Ke$ha- God, I wish there was a “cent” symbol instead of a “$” symbol), but there were alot of RANDOM’S too… Since there were TOO MANY to count, I will make my rantings brief…. ENJOY!
Avril…. tell me, how would I know if this “look” is from last night, or from 6 years ago? I WOULDN’T. The pink and black streaks, the black and white punk thing, her saying “amazeballs” on television.. DAMMIT, JUST GROW UP!
Christina Milian…. here she looks cute (usually HOT).. I always had a slight crush on her. “Say I” video? HOT! “Whatever You Want” video? FINE! But what are you doing here? Why aren’t you up there SINGING? I walked through the mall the other day, and saw her on a Disney Xmas tv movie poster… I WANT MUSIC!
Fergie… she can do NO wrong. She is HOT, has AMAZING LEGS, and no matter WHO tells me they think her face is all worked on, I still think she is FINE!
Hey GAVIN… YOU’RE ON A RED CARPET, LIVE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE YOU, AT AN AWARDS SHOW!!! FOR ONE DAY: DRESS THE F*** UP! Your wife has a CLOTHING line, TAKE A F****** HINT, or DON’T SHOW UP! Why ARE YOU here ANYWAY?
Heidi… face(hair/makeup) is beautiful. But you RUN a FASHION EMPIRE with clothing line, jewelry, and of course PROJECT RUNWAY. So WLTY and told you this was a good look?? in YOUR own words, ” I’m sorry, YOU’RE OUT!”
Lance… the only way you’re still in the music scene is by being here on this carpet, so make a good impression, and MAKE SURE YOUR F******* TIE IS ON RIGHT!! WTF?
Willow… this is the most EMBARRASING THING I have EVER seen a child “star” (cough, cough) EVER wear in my ENTIRE LIFE. WLTY???? YOUR MOM LET YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE LIKE THIS??? Your 10 YEARS OLD!!!!! I see CAMELTOE! Those BOOTS?!?! from your mom’s closet?? AND THAT YELLOW STRAIGHTJACKET????! This is WORSE THAN ANYTHING Ke$ha has EVER WORN, and she wears GARBAGE!!!
Ke$ha… what’s scary about this, is that (minus her face and “clutch”) she’s actually “decent”(dare I EVEN say that)! OKAY, we GET IT! You’re “Anti-Establishment”, “F the man”, “Rock, Man!” and all that crap. WHAT’S WITH THE HAIR and MAKEUP? REALLY…. and ALLLLLLLLLLL your songs sound the EXAAAAAAAAAAACT same. God, I’m so SICK of this person!
Katy… BEAUTIFUL!, NOT TACKY or KITSCHY! (But I would have preferred shortening the dress to above the knee). and then… your performance outfit:
“Y” is “YAY” for CAMELTOE!
TAYLOR SWIFT: THANK YOU!!!!! YOU WERE THE MOST GORGEOUS LOOKING DOLL FACED WOMAN… THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!
Nicki… I like her, cuz she’s cuckoo. Her performances, with her bug eyes, when she sings really fast: cuckoo… but I like it. I GET that she wore something crazy, because that’s her “character”. But I thought that Green was a FUR collar for the longest time! My dissapointment came when she was announcing the winner, and she RUDELY yelled out a plug for her album release date… RIGHT BEFORE THE NAME OF THE WINNER. She might as well be Kanye 2.0…..
Justin… you’re not in my demographic, so there’s no reason for me to like you. But your performance last night: GOOD JOB! It was well done, and even a bit touching. Now lets get down to your outfit. You’re NOT Michael Jackson, so the black and white armband shirt? Lose it.. you will never be of that caliber. We know Usher’s your mentor, but you’re white… lose the big necklaces and the big high tops. Be original, not a copycat. We’ve already seen you before, with Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter, Aaron Carter, and all those other teens before.
Miley: Love the Red Carpet look – you’re 18 now, so the shorter the better, and it looks great on you.
Performance outfit? I’ve already seen this, and I have 2 words for you: Stevie Nicks.
Rihanna… sexy, and looking like a WOMAN! You’re giving me a little Toni Braxton, a little Halle Berry. I think this is a GREAT LOOK! Now, about your performance look:
Uh, not so much… I know you were going for a more tribal, Caribbe feel, but this looks like you got the outfit from a thrift store. I JUST BOUGHT YOUR “R” BOOK! With all the FASHION I KNOW YOU FOR IN IT! What is THIS????
John Legend… love the voice, but WTF is with your SHOES!?!?!? Those are not ONLY the FILTHIEST I have ever seen ( U KNOW UR ON A RED CARPET, RIGHT??!?!?) but they are ALSO STEPPING ON YOUR DATE’S BEAUTIFUL DRESS!!!!! THANK GOD for her, because she toook ALLLLL the attention away from YOU!
***** FOR THE FOLLOWING WOMEN: WHY WERE YOU HERE??******
Jenny… You look great, but what’s the point?
Jessica: you look ok. Boring actually, and you’re a pretty girl. Why were you here? Oh, because you presented (as a plug for your role in the upcoming “Little Fockers” movie). Unfortunately, when the ONE preview showed during a commercial break, you weren’t even in it. So I ask again: what’s the point?
Mandy… you’re a cute girl, and you’re even nice too! I like your films, (in SAVED, “I am FILLED with God’s love!” as you throw the bible… something I still reenact with friends). But Why are you here???? It’s been so long, I forgot you exist!