Tag Archives: jlo

GUCCI-GUCCI-GOO! IT’S BABY MAKIN’ TIME!!!

So by now, you should all know how much I’m OBSESSED with Gucci. (There is an actual story about how it came to be, but I will skip it for now). Just know that GUCCI is IT! Well, they recently launched the Gucci Children Collection, with JLo and her twins (which is actually perfect, they are the epitome of the lifestyle).

A couple weeks ago, we went into Gucci on Rodeo Dr to check out the collection. Not ONLY is it VERY REASONABLY PRICED, and I WANT EVERYTHING, but it started my biological clock TICKING. So, now that I’m married, there is only one solution: HAVE SOME CHILDREN!!!!

We already have it planned out: Twins, a boy and girl, named Ethan Royal and Elle Paris.

SO, here we are, PRESENTING MY CHILDREN in their NEW GUCCI OUTFITS!

First up, Ethan Royal:

This is for the Red Carpet/Special Events.  Always need the shades, a leather jacket, and a pose.  I even have the matching shoes!

This is his Airport Outfit when we go to Hawaii to visit the Grandparents. Gotta have a Boho outfit!

And finally, for going out to Brunch. (Daddy needs the weekly bottomless mimosas!)

Here is our sweet daughter Elle Paris. (She will be blonde though; this will do for now).

When I take her to her Equestrian lessons. She will need the boots for the dirt and mud. (I need to get a pair too).

When she goes to her friends birthday parties. Classic, simple, pretty.

And finally, her Brunch outfit. (I can’t stress enough the importance of Sunday mimosas).

It’s time to start practicing making babies full time!

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The Grammys, 2011: It’s All about the EGG

First off:  WHO THE HELL IS ESPERANZA SPAULDING??!?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah, we now know she has performed at the White House, and toured with Prince. AFTER THE SNUB. I am NOT a Justin Beiber fan, but C’MON: BEST NEW ARTIST?????!!?!?!?!? We ALLL KNOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HIM…WTF?!??!?

Some group, “Mumford & Sons”, (even that NAME is hideous) look like the new cast for “Deliverance”. Look at the tool in the trucker hat and Colonel Sanders tie… REALLY?!?! REEEEAAALLLYY??!?!?!  THIS IS HILLBILLY TO THE MAX. And just watch their performance, (if u even can) especially the keyboard player. Then watch a Muppet/Fraggle Rock video… I rest my case…. weird freaks

Jennifer Hudson, in Versace. NOW THIS IS HOW YOU DRESS FOR THE GRAMMYS, FOR A RED CARPET, TO PRESENT YOURSELF TO THE WORLD.  Absolutely Perfect. L.O.V.E.

Rihanna. While she may be one of my faves, I think she took to a Valentines Day theme WAY to much. With the Red hair AND her body covered in Whipped Creme from a CAN???? (not really, but this John Paul Gaultier is not pretty).

Miley Cyrus in Roberto Cavalli. “Hey Miley, Zena the Warrior Princess called. She wants her costume back.”

Haley Williams from Paramour, in a custom Jeremy Scott…”creation”.  This has got to be one of the UGLIEST things I HAVE EVER SEEN. If that thing was sent to me to have someone wear, I would send it back saying , “HELL NO! NOT EVEN FOR FREE!”. Horrible.

Jennifer Lopez in Pucci. This is the Hottest thing I saw go down the red carpet. Those LEGS! That HAIR! My fave spike Louboutins! The ‘come hither’ look!….

BUT THEN……

KIM KARDASHIAN! O..M…G….. F*** ME!! This is PER-FEC-TION!!! THAT IS THE BEST HAIR (even if extensions!) I HAVE EVER SEEN (move over Giselle hair). THOSE EYES!! (she has best makeup). THE BOOBS! (showing lots of skin, but NOT VULGAR!) and The Slit on the legs….. I want to find her, pick her up, and give her the biggest hug/squeeze, and yell,”THANK YOU!!!!!”

Heidi Klum & Seal. (SIGH…) SEALS SHOES!!! AGAIN!!!!! REAPEAT F******* OFFENSE!!! HE JUST WORE THEM @ THE EMMYS LAST MONTH!!!!!(check out my Emmy posting to see!) HEIDI- WTF is WRONG with YOU!?!?!! You’re who America and the world is supposed to look to for “STYLE”, and “FASHION”??? You let your OWN HUSBAND leave the house in a 90’s era 3/4 length Blazer?  AND THOSE UGLS ASS SHOES ..AGAIN…. (BIG, BIG, SIGH…)

Nicki Minaj, in: a lot of leopard. I don’t know what to say, except: “RAWR”

Willow Smith, wearing Ugly. Oh, GOD, where do I start…..the SHOELACES IN THE HAIR? See, she’s too young!!! she doesn’t even know how to tie them on her feet! (Maybe her parents did it to keep her head ON when she “whips her hair back and forth, whips her hair back and forth.” And WHAT’S WITH THAT “clutch/bag/thing”???? A moving Carousel bag? It’s probably the Mobile that hangs above her crib…. REALLY?!?!?!?!?!!?!

Justin Beiber, in a white tux and kicks.  I like this (because I like white tuxes- wore this look for New Years- copycat) He looks great, eye catching, and PERFECT FOR ALL THE PHOTOS of his WIN (oops..) THAT HE SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED!

Katy Perry. I don’t care if it was ARMANI. Or that you “brought my  own Grammy” ( her Grandma- cheeze)… WTF is with the WINGS? Just because you sang at the recent Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it doesn’t give you the right to try and be an ANGEL. Your pretty, but your not a model. (I’m guessing she took a cue from Lindsey, and stole them after the runway show.)

Ricky Martin….the sexy singer, the new dad, the now out and proud gay man, (the man whose concert I have been to 2 times, have sat on the dancers bus, have met him twice, AND OWN his  “Bon-Bon” Shaking Armani leather pants from “Living La Vida Loca” tour), the Latin lover that can do no wrong…sadly, he finally did. NOOO!!!! WHY!!!!??? the pants are TOOO tight ( I know, how can that be), and the boots heighth made his legs look shorter and stumpy, and that DAMN TIE kept twisting around backwards. I feel I will see this outfit mimicked in Weho. Ricky, for you- LESS is MORE 🙂 I will dress you!!

…..and now, the ARRIVAL of GAGA…..

…followed by her performance. First: the other day, was having dinner with friends, and we were all thinking of what she was going to wear. I said she has done everything crazy, she should go naked. And low and behold, this is as naked as you can get! Nude tones, and all the dancers stripped down to nude underwear. Am I on a GAGA trend?  She ROCKED the performance, and SHE “whipped her hair!” Those prosthetic shoulder protrusions were certainly weird, but I would expect nothing less. In fact, THOSE shoulders started a trend…..that the next 2 below failed to pull off

Monica…. I didn’t mind it at first, but then realized that neckline is CHOKING her! She OBVIOUSLY heard about GAGA’s shoulders, and must have wanted in on the action. Maybe she thought, “If I have them, maybe my career will come back!”

And the Sadness continues with Snookie. those lame shoulder puffs? REALLY??! Who dresses her? WHO LIED TO YOU??! It’s like “Dynasty” gone all wrong… all that jewelry, the earings, the cuffs?? She looks like Chuy Bravo in Drag!!!

“Snookie?” Just call her “Sausage”.

Lastly, and I really want to know why…. WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???!?! THIS IS THE GRAMMYS, NOT MTV. CLASS IT UP, DUMBA**. Even HE performed with Muppets! This GAGA egg thing hatched a BIRD, no, a PLANE, no… ELTON JOHN WITH A TAN? It’s just sooooo disturbing. Seriously: what sane person thinks, “oh that’s cool, I’m going to wear that..”. WTF & WLTY!

 

 

 

ps: thank u to Celebuzz, justjared, wireimage, and getty images.