Tag Archives: ricky martin

The Grammys, 2011: It’s All about the EGG

First off:  WHO THE HELL IS ESPERANZA SPAULDING??!?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah, we now know she has performed at the White House, and toured with Prince. AFTER THE SNUB. I am NOT a Justin Beiber fan, but C’MON: BEST NEW ARTIST?????!!?!?!?!? We ALLL KNOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HIM…WTF?!??!?

Some group, “Mumford & Sons”, (even that NAME is hideous) look like the new cast for “Deliverance”. Look at the tool in the trucker hat and Colonel Sanders tie… REALLY?!?! REEEEAAALLLYY??!?!?!  THIS IS HILLBILLY TO THE MAX. And just watch their performance, (if u even can) especially the keyboard player. Then watch a Muppet/Fraggle Rock video… I rest my case…. weird freaks

Jennifer Hudson, in Versace. NOW THIS IS HOW YOU DRESS FOR THE GRAMMYS, FOR A RED CARPET, TO PRESENT YOURSELF TO THE WORLD.  Absolutely Perfect. L.O.V.E.

Rihanna. While she may be one of my faves, I think she took to a Valentines Day theme WAY to much. With the Red hair AND her body covered in Whipped Creme from a CAN???? (not really, but this John Paul Gaultier is not pretty).

Miley Cyrus in Roberto Cavalli. “Hey Miley, Zena the Warrior Princess called. She wants her costume back.”

Haley Williams from Paramour, in a custom Jeremy Scott…”creation”.  This has got to be one of the UGLIEST things I HAVE EVER SEEN. If that thing was sent to me to have someone wear, I would send it back saying , “HELL NO! NOT EVEN FOR FREE!”. Horrible.

Jennifer Lopez in Pucci. This is the Hottest thing I saw go down the red carpet. Those LEGS! That HAIR! My fave spike Louboutins! The ‘come hither’ look!….

BUT THEN……

KIM KARDASHIAN! O..M…G….. F*** ME!! This is PER-FEC-TION!!! THAT IS THE BEST HAIR (even if extensions!) I HAVE EVER SEEN (move over Giselle hair). THOSE EYES!! (she has best makeup). THE BOOBS! (showing lots of skin, but NOT VULGAR!) and The Slit on the legs….. I want to find her, pick her up, and give her the biggest hug/squeeze, and yell,”THANK YOU!!!!!”

Heidi Klum & Seal. (SIGH…) SEALS SHOES!!! AGAIN!!!!! REAPEAT F******* OFFENSE!!! HE JUST WORE THEM @ THE EMMYS LAST MONTH!!!!!(check out my Emmy posting to see!) HEIDI- WTF is WRONG with YOU!?!?!! You’re who America and the world is supposed to look to for “STYLE”, and “FASHION”??? You let your OWN HUSBAND leave the house in a 90’s era 3/4 length Blazer?  AND THOSE UGLS ASS SHOES ..AGAIN…. (BIG, BIG, SIGH…)

Nicki Minaj, in: a lot of leopard. I don’t know what to say, except: “RAWR”

Willow Smith, wearing Ugly. Oh, GOD, where do I start…..the SHOELACES IN THE HAIR? See, she’s too young!!! she doesn’t even know how to tie them on her feet! (Maybe her parents did it to keep her head ON when she “whips her hair back and forth, whips her hair back and forth.” And WHAT’S WITH THAT “clutch/bag/thing”???? A moving Carousel bag? It’s probably the Mobile that hangs above her crib…. REALLY?!?!?!?!?!!?!

Justin Beiber, in a white tux and kicks.  I like this (because I like white tuxes- wore this look for New Years- copycat) He looks great, eye catching, and PERFECT FOR ALL THE PHOTOS of his WIN (oops..) THAT HE SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED!

Katy Perry. I don’t care if it was ARMANI. Or that you “brought my  own Grammy” ( her Grandma- cheeze)… WTF is with the WINGS? Just because you sang at the recent Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it doesn’t give you the right to try and be an ANGEL. Your pretty, but your not a model. (I’m guessing she took a cue from Lindsey, and stole them after the runway show.)

Ricky Martin….the sexy singer, the new dad, the now out and proud gay man, (the man whose concert I have been to 2 times, have sat on the dancers bus, have met him twice, AND OWN his  “Bon-Bon” Shaking Armani leather pants from “Living La Vida Loca” tour), the Latin lover that can do no wrong…sadly, he finally did. NOOO!!!! WHY!!!!??? the pants are TOOO tight ( I know, how can that be), and the boots heighth made his legs look shorter and stumpy, and that DAMN TIE kept twisting around backwards. I feel I will see this outfit mimicked in Weho. Ricky, for you- LESS is MORE 🙂 I will dress you!!

…..and now, the ARRIVAL of GAGA…..

…followed by her performance. First: the other day, was having dinner with friends, and we were all thinking of what she was going to wear. I said she has done everything crazy, she should go naked. And low and behold, this is as naked as you can get! Nude tones, and all the dancers stripped down to nude underwear. Am I on a GAGA trend?  She ROCKED the performance, and SHE “whipped her hair!” Those prosthetic shoulder protrusions were certainly weird, but I would expect nothing less. In fact, THOSE shoulders started a trend…..that the next 2 below failed to pull off

Monica…. I didn’t mind it at first, but then realized that neckline is CHOKING her! She OBVIOUSLY heard about GAGA’s shoulders, and must have wanted in on the action. Maybe she thought, “If I have them, maybe my career will come back!”

And the Sadness continues with Snookie. those lame shoulder puffs? REALLY??! Who dresses her? WHO LIED TO YOU??! It’s like “Dynasty” gone all wrong… all that jewelry, the earings, the cuffs?? She looks like Chuy Bravo in Drag!!!

“Snookie?” Just call her “Sausage”.

Lastly, and I really want to know why…. WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???!?! THIS IS THE GRAMMYS, NOT MTV. CLASS IT UP, DUMBA**. Even HE performed with Muppets! This GAGA egg thing hatched a BIRD, no, a PLANE, no… ELTON JOHN WITH A TAN? It’s just sooooo disturbing. Seriously: what sane person thinks, “oh that’s cool, I’m going to wear that..”. WTF & WLTY!

 

 

 

ps: thank u to Celebuzz, justjared, wireimage, and getty images.

 

Advertisements

LA’s LAST SUMMER WEEKEND 2010

Even though it’s October, and it is still hot as hell, Summer is officially over Los Angeles! We had some great times, and great pool parties! I was fortunate to enjoy a last summer Sunday at one of my favorite pools: Skybar @ The Mondrian.

This place will always be HOT. Hot music, hot crowd, lot’s of flesh. Basically, an upscale LA version of Vegas. So of course, my camera phone gets trigger happy, and “material” just seems to come to me. Below are some high’s and low’s of LA’s Last Summer Weekend. Enjoy!

HOT HOT HOT! This was the first thing I saw when I entered the pool area. First, I love a girl in a bikini and heels, poolside, hotel…. its picture perfect. Now of course it’s NOT ALWAYS practical, blah blah…. obviously not for the local Y or community pool, especially with kids. But in an adult atmosphere: ladies, this is great! Think about it- you’re in barely anything anyway, why not make your butt look tighter and legs look longer, right? The fact that these heels are BLACK and with STUDS and SPIKES: Very LA, Very Mondrian. LOVED this girl.

Then I saw this girl…. (sigh). This is tricky. She is wearing a black bikini, heels, big glasses… and then, a FUR HOODIE VEST-Thing. Now, I’m ALLL about fashion, pushing the envelope, standing out, etc. However, it IS HOT outside, and SUMMER. I’m all for fur (take that PETA) but it IS TOO MUCH. Yeah, she got attention, and looked good, but wrong environment. If it was cooler, fall, and poolside: SURE. If she was Rihanna? GREAT! On Valentino’s yacht in South of France? HOT!  But no, just a cute girl who went overboard. Nice try, but no 😦

Sarongs on men. I’m sure you’re all gonna think I hate, but I LIKE. Seeing as my family lives in Hawaii, and have been going there forever, Sarongs are a common thing to wear. Throw on over a swimsuit, and walk around. Done. Plus, this guy is in great shape, and looks like Ricky Martin: he could wear anything. Also, since The Mondrian is VERY Euro, it works. Another reason? It’s the Brazilian flag, he looks Brazilian, it’s the beach life culture. Again, not for the local community pool!But I would def wear this for sure… I do own a few!

When I came back from the bar, I saw THIS. I STILL don’t know if it was a (skirt/shorts)? Something made of denim, and SHREDDED TO HELL. All i can say is FUGLY. This is not attractive, not appropriate, and just a big ol’ NO! What was she thinking? “Hmm, I’m going to The Mondrian, I’m gonna wear that shredded ugly denim thing as a cover up, it’s so edgy”? NO! Put on NORMAL shorts, skirt, ANYTHING! Or better yet, get a Sarong!

Saving the best for last, This woman. She was poolside for what appeared to be a birthday, or some sort of celebration. She was late 40’s(?) and THE BEST DRESSED. PERIOD. Age appropriate length on a fun summer print dress, appropriate oversized creme day clutch, and strappy black heels to ground it. Thank God (or Buddha, or whomever is out there) for blessing me with a positive way to end this post. I’m glad to know that women, no matter what age, put in an effort, and look HOT!!

And here’s a quick pic of me ( in TOM FORD sunglasses, of course). A final thank you LA, Mondrian, and all readers who had a wonderfully Fashion Filled Summer! See you next year poolside!