Tag Archives: ugly

A “GILT”-y PLEASURE!!

This is big news people! A marriage is happening here, and I am so HAPPY to spread the JOYOUS news!

My favorite shopping site ever, www.GILT.com, which offers  THE BEST designer deals, the HOTTEST home furnishings, and even AMAZING destinations at FRACTIONS of the cost, is doing something I never dreamed of:

THE SEARCH FOR THE “UGLIEST SHOES IN AMERICA” CONTEST!!!!!! As stated by GILT’s press release: “If it’s true that you can learn alot about a man by his shoes, then America’s men are in a state of crisis”.

I COULDN’T AGREE MORE! Of course I try to find the beauty in everyone; their style, confidence, self expression…. but most often, it’s just TOO DAMN UGLY OUT THERE! It’s like GILT and I just got MARRIED! Oh, the JOY of Loving to hate something ugly…

This is Gilt MAN’s first contest, and is open to EVERYONE for participation! To enter: send a picture of the UGLIEST shoes you can find for a chance to win $1,000 from Gilt MAN to update the wardrobe! Below are some additional details on how the contest works.
FACEBOOK:  http://www.facebook.com/GiltMan?v=app_133498060031497
Winner Selection Process
Submission Period > Top 50 chosen by the community > Top 10 Chosen by Judges > Top 3 Finalists chosen > Winners Announced
Judge
Tyler Thoreson, editorial director, Gilt MAN
Contest Timeline
NOW:    Submission Period
11/8:     Judging Period Starts
11/10:   Voting Period II Starts                                                
11/12:    Winners Announced 

Tyler Thoreson, editorial director of Gilt MAN will be the judge. Thank God it isn’t me, I would deem almost EVERY shoe the Ugliest, and therfore, go BROKE giving away $1,000 to all contenstants!!!!

DEATH to those who BUNGEE (jump)

I went to brunch today, and thought my lack of mimosa carafe was making me hallucinate this image.  There, at the table next to us, was a woman who’s purse strap was missing, and IN IT’S PLACE: A F****** BUNGEE CORD. And not just a regular bungee cord, but one with KNOTS IN IT!!!!At first, I thought, “okay, maybe it’s just an ugly purse”…. but no, the BUNGEE CORD was PURPOSELY FIXED onto the missing strap’s rings! The hooks bent arount the rings as to not detatch…. I asked my friends,” please tell me that’s not the purse’s style”, and they confirmed: NOPE. IT WAS A HOME-MADE REPLACEMENT STRAP.

WHYYYYY???? WHO LIED TO YOU??????  What this lady COULD have done, AND SHOULD HAVE DONE, was just leave the original strap off, AND CARRY IT AS A CLUTCH!! 

And I don’t want to hear: “not everyone can just go out and buy a new purse”, “maybe she can’t afford a new one right now”, etc…. BECAUSE WHERE WE ATE BRUNCH, and the PRICE OF A MEAL, SHE COULD EITHER BUY: 3 BAGS at H&M, 2 BAGS at some Melrose store, or 1 bag @ Zara.

SEE?? BETTER OPTIONS THEN A BUNGEE-CORD-WITH-KNOTS-“wow, I made it myself”-PURSE STRAP. (Ugh…………..the disgust………)

VMA FASHIONS(?)

We all watched the VMA’s , and it was like the ocean…. it rose, it fell, had waves, was flat…… some people looked like Goddesses, some i hoped would drown. (THATS TO YOU F***** STUPID A*** PIECE OF S*** KANYE.. UGLY A** F***)

So heres a roundup of the good, the bad, and the ugly 🙂

CHER.  REALLY???? She’s 64!!!! and looks like she NEVER AGED! (of course, thank you plastic surgery) BUT DAMN! AMAAAZING!!!!!! Because really, WHO DO YOU KNOW that’s 64, and can ROCK THIS LOOK? CHER CAN!

B.O.B and Haley Williams… if I HEAR THIS F******** song ANYMORE, I’m GOING TO KILL MYSELF! SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT AIRPLANES AND SHOOTING STARS! And the whole hype about how they never met, recorded separately, and this was their first meeting, AND performance together…WHO THE F*** cares?!?!?!  AND THIS WAS THE RESULT? Her UGLY A** HAIR and CRAP outfit (really??! thats what u choose to wear on live TV??!) and B.O.B’ OUTFIT AND BEHAVIOR? Stupid….. looked like a f***** clown, waving his arms in UGLY A** CLOTHES. BOTH OF YOU: SHUT UP, and GO AWAY!

Taylor Swift…. one word: PERFECT. those EYES!!!! HER HAIR! whoever did her makeup and hair deserves a VMA award!!!!!!! She performed a haunting song, barefoot, commanded that HUGE stage all alone, and OWNED IT. LOVE.

Jared Leto and his band…i like one of his songs, but I just have one observation. He and the guy on right? Boyfriends. Just a hunch, got that vibe. just saying. (the outfits alone are gay!)

Florence + the Machine: great performance. Loved the song from “Eat Pray Love”. Now, I want her CD. She was ethereal, looked heavenly, kept it simple and beautiful. And  her voice ROCKED.

I hate Eminem, but his lyrics have been good lately. I LOVE RIHANNA, but i HATE her red wig. and I hate a ballerina dress with combat boots. Barf. Go back to Futuristic, crazy, cool, all black rockstar 101!

Ke$ha… YOU KNOW WHY SHE WORE A GARBAGE BAG??? BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE’S TRASH. i won’t knock someone for making a name for themselves, and making money off it, but YOU LOOK STUPID, YOUR OUTFIT IS A GARBAGE BAG?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!??!?!! GOOOO AWAAAYYY!!!!!! TIK TOK and BLAH BLAH on a DESERTED ISLAND PLEASE! T-R-A-S-H…. and no $ in your name either… stupid…

Nicki Minaj and will.i.am….. ok, she’s CRAZY. But thats why i love her…. she’s the new Lil Kim, rap/hiphop’s new Barbie, so I get it…. its just that THAT outfit, and her BUTT IMPLANTS looked HUUUUUUGGGGEEEEE on TV! But her singing style is infecting, I must say… at least she owns it! Now will.i.am on the other hand… stupid. we know its a costume, we know its a look… but really??!?! you just look stupid. OBVIOUSLY NICKI ASKED FOR A REAL BLACK MAN, YOU KNEW YOU COULDN’T DELIVER CUZ UR SO DOUCHY, SO YOU HAD TO FAKE IT WITH THE FACE PAINT!!! GO TO THE SAME ISLAND I’M SENDING KESHA TOO… FAR AWAY.

JUSTIN BEIBER: WE KNOW USHER IS YOUR MENTOR, BUT ONLY FOR SINGING AND DANCING!! NOT STYLE! REMEMBER: YOUR WHITE, and 16!!!!! DRESS LIKE IT! AND PLEASE, FROM ALL OF AMERICA AND THE WORLD: LOSE THE LESBIAN HAIRCUT.

GAGA in McQueen… yes its a lil cuckoo, BUT HELL YEAH! Its from his FINAL collection, it’s straight off the runway, AND SHE IS HONORING HIM. Plus, u see the shoes she walked in? Lets se any of YOU try that! WELL DONE LADY, WELL DONE…. and speaking of well done, her next outfit is a lil more; shall we say: undercooked.

Yes, thats right: a MEAT DRESS. MEAT STRAPPED TO HER BODY. To me, it looks fake, ( I MEAN- IMAGINE THE SMELL?) But she’s also wearing DIAMONDS!!! SHE DRESSED UP HER MEAT! she’s a controversial person, and you know what? she’s who she is, because of her weird outfits. And hey, when she’s hungry, she has something to nibble! 🙂

LAST, AND DEFINITELY LEAST, IS “DOUCHEBAG KING” K.  THIS IS TO YOU KANYE: YOU THINK UR AN ARTIST, AND YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS ARTISTIC BECAUSE ITS STARK WHITE, YOUR IN RED, YOU’RE SINGING HIP HOP, BUT HAVE BALLET DANCERS. YOU ARE A STUPID A** UGLY PIECE OF S***!  YOU LOOKED LIKE A GAY VERSION OF MR.T. TOO BAD THAT RED WASN’T YOUR BLOOD FROM TAYLOR SWIFT BEATING THE S*** OUT OF YOU. YOU SANG ABOUT “DOUCHEBAGS & A********”… wow, your anthem, what a shocker. YOUR F****** STUPID!

“WATER SHOES” R 4 AMPHIBIANS!!!

GOD, PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THESE!!!!!

So, I keep seeing these UGLY A** things on people, IN PUBLIC, in normal daytime, on the STREETS OF LA. WTF??? This is a DEFINITE “WHOLIEDTOYOU” MOMENT: IT IS NOT OKAY TO WEAR THESE IN PUBLIC! IN A CITY SETTING!!!!

THEY DON’T LOOK COOL, THEY ARE NOT A NEW ‘TREND’, and MOST IMPORTANTLY: ARE NOT MEANT FOR U TO BE WEARING EVERYDAY- UNLESS UR DOING SOMETHING BY THE WATER OR CLIMBING SOME BOULDER!!!(monkey freaks)

We all know i LOATHE feet, they disgust me, so to have your smelly-a** toes in view of the public eye all “webbed out” like a frog.. it just makes my stomach churn, and a look of DISGUST creeps on my face… and believe me, its an obvious one too, I will NOT hide my feelings on these GROSS things.

IF YOU’RE WEARING THESE OUT AND ABOUT RUNNING YOUR ERRANDS: YOU LOOK STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, for “journalistic” reasons, I looked up these “beauties” (GAG).. and I found this Winning Photo, and THIS IS WHAT THEY SAY:

“At home in the water or in chillier conditions, the men’s Vibram FiveFingers Flow multisport shoes offer the freedom of bare feet with the grip and protection of a Vibram sole.”

AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART:

“Recommended for cold weather running, trekking, bouldering, water sports and canyoneering”

SEE THAT YOU FREAKS??!?!?!? NOWHERE DOES IT SAY: FOR GROCERY SHOPPING, GOING TO THE BANK, GOING TO THE MALL, or an other NORMAL day to day errand. UNLESS YOU LIVE IN A RIVER, ON A LAKE, OR SOME BFE PLACE LIKE COLORADO, then STOP WEARING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOST FOR WORDS…

I just dont know what to say…. except…NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!
Urkel called, he wants his glasses back? I’ll let it slide when your grandfather is wearing, but NOT on a 30-something year old guy… and no, THEY ARE NOT COOL.. this is a PRIME EXAMPLE of WHO LIED TO YOU?!?!?!??!