Tag Archives: versace

Golden Globes Fashion 2012- HITS!! and MISSES..

Last night was all about 4 things: Versace, Reem Acra, Lorraine Schwartz diamonds, and mermaid tails. Here are the Top 5, the Bottom 5, and all the “ehh” in between. Plus a surprise “like” at the end!

Ps:  Even though I did like Lea Michele’s Marchesa dress, (the dress was gorgeous), I am not posting a photo of her. She and her POSING RITUAL are so desperate for attention.

TOP 5 BEST

Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace

The BEST of the night! SO good, we had to post her pic twice!! That FACE!, the way the dress was PERFECTLY FIT to her body, her makeup, her leg, her poise- Perfection. She is ROYALTY.

Elle Macpherson in Zac Posen

Stunning. HER face!, that HAIR, her BODY…….! She is 47?!?!?  Exquisite….

Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli

Goddess. Perfection. She is one of the most BEAUTIFUL women EVER! Look at this!!!! I can’t WAIT for Underworld Awakening- I’m Obsessed with her!!

Nicole Richie in Julien Macdonald

Her HAIR was AMAZING!!! (love some good extensions!) Smokey eye- she was like a Disco Barbie- (love that too!). This dress was ALL beaded- photo doesn’t do it justice- dress was phenomenal!

Nicole Kidman in Versace

Usually, she is ok- always nice, but never the best… This dress- Definitely- fits, looks, and compliments her AMAZINGLY. Her hair looks wonderful.. Rounds out the Top 5 Best!

Top 5 WORST!!!!

Kelly Osbourne in Zac Posen

Kelly- as a loyal “ranger”, I’m quoting you when u like someone, but not their outfit: “I’m sorry to say, but this has to be my worst this week”. Really?! This is THE WORST of the night!!! WHAT COLOR IS THAT HAIR??!?! Lavender? Grey? She is a “host/expert” on E! Fashion Police, and THIS is what you come up with?!?!?! And this is NOT a mermaid tail- this is URSULA the OCTOPUS WITCH! Horrendous… !!! Your MOM looks younger than you!!!

Sarah Michele Gellar in Monique Lhullier

NO!!!! I LOVE her!!! Since Buffy, Cruel intentions, Scream, I know what you did last summer… WHY??? She hasn’t done anything forever, FINALLY comes back with one of my FAVE new shows, RINGER, and THIS is the “comeback” dress choice??? NO!!! Her face is SO AMAZING!!! She said that her daughter picked it out for her… THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN CHOOSE YOUR DRESS!  I was so SAD!

Freida Pinto in Prada

Nothing like wearing your drapes to an awards show. Did they not have time to find a REAL dress? and they just sewed together what was lying around the house? Awful.

Michelle Williams in Jason Wu

I was hoping that she kept her wig from “Marilyn”, so we had a change in THAT hair… but oh well. And this dress…. Purple velvet leopard??? when asked what kind of dress it was, she said, ” i don’t know, some sort of velvet.”…. IT’S CALLED “BURNOUT!” This dress, not so much….

Piper Perabo in... ?

Does anyone know who whose dress this is? More importantly, does anyone CARE? This is HORRIBLE. Like a big trash bag… Boring color, boring design, BORING. There are SOOOO many other options out there!!!!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Charlize Theron in Dior Couture

Almost made top 5, but something was missing- don’t know what it is. No matter what- she’s GORGEOUS. I think the hair choice is a little young, (Young Adult, anyone?) but overall, Beautiful. Just not the “best.”

Jessica Alba in Gucci

A usual non-fave, she looks GREAT! the color is great, love the details,.. but the best part? her SKIN!!! It was GLOWING!!! Whatever she used- I WANT IT!! Good Job Jessica!

Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen

California girl!!!! Love her hair, love her smile- always ADORABLE!!!!! The dress was a little bland… especially in the bust area: it looked a little DE-flated. But OTHER than that- SO CUTE!!!!! 🙂 I just love her personality, and big Barbie beachy Malibu hair!

Sophia Vergara in Vera Wang

(as Sophia says, “Sophia WONG”) She always looks good- HI, BANGING BODY- but this was a little lack luster… hair was boring and flat, dress was boring color…. I LOVE looking at that body, but now that she’s “somebody”, her stylist could give her a little more, “oomph!”

DISAPPOINTMENTS

Mila Kunis in Dior

She just got signed as a “face” of Dior-  but this face looks like J-Woww… and THIS dress- out of ALL of DIOR’S DRESSES- is the one she chose???? I have 2 words- DROOPY. BOOBIES. As one of Hollywoods most beautiful faces, WHY?? Black Swan was LAST YEAR!!!

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

She is SKYROCKETING through Hollywood- I LOVED her character in The Help,  but this high neck -blown out hair makes her look like 80’s Dynasty… and NOT young and fresh in Hollywood! This dress DATED her, and made her look old.

Jessica Beil in Dolce & Gabbana

Speaking of “dating” one’s self- this looks like Prairie Home Companion. Or Old Maid. On top of that, this dress made her look like she had 3 tits. Not flattering.

Madonna in Reem Acra

Top half- boobs were so squished in- it was too tight! (Makeup was nice). Bottom half- that’s including the one fingerless glove (we get it already) was too much, to heavy. I know the gothic punk rock look she was going for, but I was less than impressed.  C’mon  Madonna!

Glenn Close in ?

All I have to say, is that top band across her chest looks like the bandaging to flatten out her boobs for her role as a man, she forgot to take it off, so they layered a strip of sequins on it… What IS that???

Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci

We get that she plays a goth girl in “Dragon/Tattoo” movies… that doesn’t mean she needs to keep dressing that way!!! Hasn’t her sister told her acting is ACTING- it’s a role- it’s pretend! Time to get out of character please!

And for EXCEPTIONAL CONSIDERATION….

Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackerman

For some reason- I love this. She is always a little coo-koo… dresses more “fashion”, then “appropriateness”, but This color, and concept, with the hair- I like! I think it’s because as soon as I saw this, I thought of Princess Diana. If she was still living- this would be AMAZING on her.

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VMA’s 2011: Very “Mis-led” Artists

HERE WE GO! MTV’S VMA 2011 gives us  a lot of celebs, celebrealities, and musicians. Basically, everything from: “alotta look”,… “really?”,…  and “who ARE you?”!

Beyonce in Lanvin. She can do no wrong. AND… she announced she is PREGNANT!!!!! CONGRATS Ms. B!!!!! Love this girl…. She ROCKED her performance, and expose her bump as the crowd cheered. SHE IS an ICON.

Jojo… I love this girl too… where has she been? I like the edgy black… BUT WHAT is THAT on her BUTT???? I know girls want nice butts, but this is a lil TOO BIG!!! She needs to be careful tho…. the longer I look at this photo, the more I think she’s starting to look like JWOW…. (and I don’t think thats a compliment…)

Speaking of JWOW, here she is with Snooki

This is what happens when you come from nowhere and get ALOT of money VERY quickly.  JWOW lost weight, went from (probably) size 4 to a size 2/0… and put it all back on with plastic surgery. the BOOBS! the LIPS! And her eyes: is it the makeup, or is she botoxed like crazy??? Also, she should have worn a basic Louboutin pump- those shoes DO NOT make this outfit look “classier”.  And YES, I’m admitting this right now…. Snooki has NEVER LOOKED BETTER!!!! Even though she has the streaks, (no) and the shoes (Steve Madden?!?!?) are too big, she looks better than most days. This just goes to show: you can’t take Jersey outta the girls!

Jersey castmate Deena Cortese….. like I said: JERSEY. Ladies, please don’t try this at home. Or anywhere else. Ever. Thanks.

Soo…. this is the first time I have EVER had to say, think, admit, feel this way: KIM’s GOT A FAT A**!!!! And she just got married…. WHICH MEANS she is at her THINNEST for that wedding dress…. Kris has MORE than a handful. DAMN!!

Nicki Minaj IS the NEW Lady Gaga…. WHERE IS THEIR DUET?!?!??!?! This girl is CRAZY! We all know she loves being a Barbie, and here, she is OFFICIALLY HARAJUKU BARBIE. I don’t even know where, what, how, or why…. but SHE is going to be my Halloween costume for this year!!!!!!!!! (not this outfit, but something cuckoo). Her outfit is by  Japanese designer Shojono Tomo. Also: LOVE that “SUPERBASS” WON best HIP HOP VIDEO!!!! I’M OBSESSED with that song!!!

We were ALLL WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT!!!!! THE BIG QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: WHAT WILL GAGA WEAR?!?!?!??!   She has been in an egg, she has worn meat…. what could be next??? MAN DRAG!!!!! Her gender bending identity turns heads, creates controversy, and brings attention to equality issues. Some say she’s annoying, some think she’s too much… She kept the ACT UP the WHOLE NIGHT! (c’mon- THAT’s TALENT!!!)

What is Miley Cyrus wearing? What is this? She looks FAT & BLOATED!!! Not a good choice…..she looks OLD.  Her stylist lied to her.

Katy Perry…. dressed asian style.  Um… I think she heard about Nicki’s outfit, and decided to do a “safe white girl version”. (Nicki won this one) I’m so TIRED of her TRYING!! STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!! And then she changed:

WTF??!?!?!?!?! WHY????? whay is that on your head??!?! IT’S NOT FASHION!!!!!! ITS’S SOOOO STUPID!!!!!

Britney Spears, in another boring black outfit. With those STUPID hooker-looking half bootie that MAKES HER LEGS LOOK SHORT AND STUMPY. She ALWAYS wears these!!! BORED!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the VMA’s- LIVE A LITTLE!!!!! AND YOU RECEIVED THE VANGUARD AWARD!!!!

Taylor Lautner. He can wear anything. A blazer and a henley? Yup. He may be a young’n, but I’m all for going to see his upcoming film “Abducted”.

Kelly Rowland… wearing dress by Falguni and Shane Peacock.  I like this, Its cool, edgy, fun. I.m a sucker for great makeup, but sorry Kel- this is TOO MUCH makeup! It’s cakes on like a DRAG QUEEN! I have met this girl, and she is Gorgeous as is- she doesn’t need all of that covering her face!

Adele. I LOVE this girl!!! the VOICE!!!! (Her performance was chillingly amazing!)  NO ONE can EVER say I don’t love a girl with a lil weight, because here is my proof! 🙂 She’s nominated for 7 AWARDS, and she is 23.  She wears SAFE basic black, and she is ROCKIN’ some BIG A** HAIR… L.O.V.E. The only thing that creeped me out was her LONG nails… fine for GAGA, fine for Rihanna… but too much for her.

*****************MEN WHO LOOK LIKE SH%#************************

Jake Busey….. Yup,… don’t even have to guess… Gary’s son. Don’t even try to have a career Jake- you look EXACTLY like your dad, and people are going to make fun of you both for the rest of your life. GO HOME NOW

JC Chasez – wow…. life has been HARD on this guy. And no makeup. Time for a new image consultant. STAT.

Steven “Cojo” Cojocaru. Remember him. He was a “style” expert. He got very sick. He came back a woman. I mean, reeeallly?

Tyga. His “name” means “thank you God always”. (sigh). He is new to the scene. (wearing Versace (?!)) But the OVERALL LOOK…???? It’s “alotta look”. Too much look. Before your career starts- hire a stylist.

Tyler, The Creator. (BIIIIG SIIIIIGH)….. Yeah, that’s his “name”. What are these guys thinking? How are they helping IMPROVE our world??? He won for “Best New Artist”.  REALLY. His acceptance speech was so bleeped out, I had NO IDEA what he even said. He’s 20. With a start like that, he’s looking to be the next Kanye: a big F’ing D-Bag. And that’s WITHOUT me even talking about his F***ing choice of outfit.

************* THE MEN ARE WEARING DESIGNER********************

Busta Rhymes in… (Gucci?!) Well, at least it looks like it. The red & green striping… I just am not sure about Gucci making that collar…… Hmmmm….

Kevin Hart. YSL belt. Hmm… seeing a lot of YSL lately. Maybe since they just opened in Beverly Center. I loke this style (it’s a lil too “street” for me), but in general- I would ROCK everything from the belt up.

Ace Hood in Versace. Well, a Versace shirt anyway….. and belt (not in this pic). Versace IS making a comeback…. Lady Gaga, the H&M collab….. and now in the hip-hop community.  Hell Yeah.

Justin Beiber, wearing a YSL pin on his jacket lapel… hmm… more YSL.  He’s also wearing RED PANTS and LEOPARD PRINT SHOES (NOT CUTE). And to MAKE THIS WORSE-  he has a F***ING SNAKE IN HIS HAND!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!? When Selena Gomez asked him about it, he said,” I brought my snake with me” (she asked it’s name), he said, “Johnson”….. REEEAALLLY??!?! On Television?!!?! We all know what that implies… so stupid. Beware moms’… he’s turning!

******************NEW GENERATION GIRLS***************************

Bonnie McKee…. WHO????? (Ysl shoes…..)  She was born in 84… and is responsible for WRITING Britney’s “Hold it against me” and Katy’s “California girls” and “Teenage Dream”. I was gonna say that she looks more “hooker” than songwriter-  she dresses like the songs she writes. But you know what? She’s getting her bills paid. BIG TIME. At her age, she might as well dress like that while she can!

“Chanel”…. yes, her name is Chanel. I’m sure Coco is screaming in her grave. Nothing here says Chanel. Who is this???? She was an Australian Idol runner-up. She is in an Australian trip-hop group.

Jessie J. Recently hurt herself, so came out to sing covers of every song known during commercial breaks. I think she took something from Cee Lo Green’s closet! She is 23, and has written songs for Miley and Chris Brown.  Let’s see if her clothing matures  with her career.

Liz Lee…. WHO?!?!?!?!? the star of “My Life as Liz”. Am I too old? Guess so…. But I AM old enough to SCHOOL HER on APPROPRIATE DRESS for a carpet:

WTF SHOES ARE THOSE?!?  WITH WHITE SOCKS???? BOOTS UNZIPPED???

ugly…. gross…. sloppy. What a way to represent yourself, your show, and all the people trying to get your career going- I would either quit or fire her.

Shirley Manson from Garbage?? NOPE! Bjork?? NOPE. It’s new singer Skylar Grey. It’s a lil too “Beetle Juice” for me. Of all nights to dress up and look cool, for the world to see- this is it?? Not interested…………

BET Awards… ( I’ll keep it brief )

Soooo… the BET awards were recently held, and the hip hop community stepped out in all its “Fashionable Glory”.

Seeing as there were too many things to cite, and my disappointment is outweighed by the fact that I DON’T CARE: I will spare you my rants- and keep it to the minimum. The following don’t deserve the attention anyway… sad, but true.

Here are the choice “highlights”:

Alicia Keys, in Dolce & Gabbana…

Now, look at her face-I think she’s confused.  But then again, I WOULD BE TOO if my DIZZY Louboutins matched the DIZZY graphics on the “step and repeat” wall!!! It’s ONE thing to dressACCORDINGLY to an event, but it’s ANOTHER to dress LIKE the event!

 

Busta Rhymes, in.. ????

The only thing I’m happy about is the YSL belt…. and that his AMAZING RAP is the ONLY thing that makes Chris Brown’s “Look at me now” worth listening to.

Willow Smith, in.. something fished out from the dumpsters?

Here’s what I’m MOST worried about: she’s so frigging young, that i’m giong to have to see YEARS OF THIS… JUST QUIT WHILE YOU’RE AHEAD!!! JUST GO AWAY!

Nicki Minaj, in…. ???

I actually wasted 15 min trying to find out what she wore, (and found nothing)….. which means HORRIBLE NEWS: HER P.R .PEOPLE ARE F***ING STUPID!!! She is probably THE HOTTEST rapper/hip-hop star out there RIGHT NOW, and NOWHERE on the internet has info on WHAT SHE’S WEARING???  SHE CAN GET ANY DESIGNER!!!! Dear Nicki- I love your STYLE, but not you STYLE-IST… she LIED TO YOU!!! FIRED!!!

 

Cee- Lo Green, trying to do an impersonation, (sorry, “TRIBUTE”) to Patti LaBelle.

Another one- JUST GO AWAY!!! PLEEEEEEEEASE…..GOOOOOO AWAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

 

Kerry Washington, in Michael Kors.

Daytime carpet (grass, at that), bright spring dress,… CHECK! Black pointy indoor office secretary pumps??? Really, with a GOWN??? GROSS. “Hey Kerry, FIRE your stylist- they LIED TO YOU!”

Mary J. Blige, in Herve Ledger….

I love Mary, we all do. She is the Queen of feeling “Superwoman Female Empowerment”. However, that “dress” doesn’t look like she’s gonna kick an abusive man’s ass- it looks like she broke free from him tying her up! Strappy dress, strappy shoes….  STRAP HER BACK UP! Also, side note: “Mary- you’re getting up there in age… time to start dressing a little more appropriate ( INCLUDING the hairstyles – you’re not 25 anymore)”.

 

Wiz Khalifa, and Amber Rose, wearing…. TRASH.

REALLY ??? For an AWARDS SHOW???? Her VERSACE shoes are THE ONLY THING I LIKE. Grow up people- you’ll never be respected for looking like SH*T.

Big Sean, in… a leftover, re-used carseat found in some junkyard with a belt from an 80’s pawnshop …. DID SOMEONE REALLY SAY, “Hey, you look great!” ??????????

WWWTTTTFFF???????

Chris Brown,….

A Message for you: You’re not cool, you’re not a male version of Lady Gaga.. just because you try and dress “weird”  doesn’t make you “edgy”.  You look F***ING STUPID.

And then this outfit to take pics with the Press. A HOODIE, with JEAN SHORTS??????

YOU ARE WAAAAAY BENEATH  RIHANNA , Chris….. WAAAY BENEATH…….

 

The Grammys, 2011: It’s All about the EGG

First off:  WHO THE HELL IS ESPERANZA SPAULDING??!?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah, we now know she has performed at the White House, and toured with Prince. AFTER THE SNUB. I am NOT a Justin Beiber fan, but C’MON: BEST NEW ARTIST?????!!?!?!?!? We ALLL KNOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HIM…WTF?!??!?

Some group, “Mumford & Sons”, (even that NAME is hideous) look like the new cast for “Deliverance”. Look at the tool in the trucker hat and Colonel Sanders tie… REALLY?!?! REEEEAAALLLYY??!?!?!  THIS IS HILLBILLY TO THE MAX. And just watch their performance, (if u even can) especially the keyboard player. Then watch a Muppet/Fraggle Rock video… I rest my case…. weird freaks

Jennifer Hudson, in Versace. NOW THIS IS HOW YOU DRESS FOR THE GRAMMYS, FOR A RED CARPET, TO PRESENT YOURSELF TO THE WORLD.  Absolutely Perfect. L.O.V.E.

Rihanna. While she may be one of my faves, I think she took to a Valentines Day theme WAY to much. With the Red hair AND her body covered in Whipped Creme from a CAN???? (not really, but this John Paul Gaultier is not pretty).

Miley Cyrus in Roberto Cavalli. “Hey Miley, Zena the Warrior Princess called. She wants her costume back.”

Haley Williams from Paramour, in a custom Jeremy Scott…”creation”.  This has got to be one of the UGLIEST things I HAVE EVER SEEN. If that thing was sent to me to have someone wear, I would send it back saying , “HELL NO! NOT EVEN FOR FREE!”. Horrible.

Jennifer Lopez in Pucci. This is the Hottest thing I saw go down the red carpet. Those LEGS! That HAIR! My fave spike Louboutins! The ‘come hither’ look!….

BUT THEN……

KIM KARDASHIAN! O..M…G….. F*** ME!! This is PER-FEC-TION!!! THAT IS THE BEST HAIR (even if extensions!) I HAVE EVER SEEN (move over Giselle hair). THOSE EYES!! (she has best makeup). THE BOOBS! (showing lots of skin, but NOT VULGAR!) and The Slit on the legs….. I want to find her, pick her up, and give her the biggest hug/squeeze, and yell,”THANK YOU!!!!!”

Heidi Klum & Seal. (SIGH…) SEALS SHOES!!! AGAIN!!!!! REAPEAT F******* OFFENSE!!! HE JUST WORE THEM @ THE EMMYS LAST MONTH!!!!!(check out my Emmy posting to see!) HEIDI- WTF is WRONG with YOU!?!?!! You’re who America and the world is supposed to look to for “STYLE”, and “FASHION”??? You let your OWN HUSBAND leave the house in a 90’s era 3/4 length Blazer?  AND THOSE UGLS ASS SHOES ..AGAIN…. (BIG, BIG, SIGH…)

Nicki Minaj, in: a lot of leopard. I don’t know what to say, except: “RAWR”

Willow Smith, wearing Ugly. Oh, GOD, where do I start…..the SHOELACES IN THE HAIR? See, she’s too young!!! she doesn’t even know how to tie them on her feet! (Maybe her parents did it to keep her head ON when she “whips her hair back and forth, whips her hair back and forth.” And WHAT’S WITH THAT “clutch/bag/thing”???? A moving Carousel bag? It’s probably the Mobile that hangs above her crib…. REALLY?!?!?!?!?!!?!

Justin Beiber, in a white tux and kicks.  I like this (because I like white tuxes- wore this look for New Years- copycat) He looks great, eye catching, and PERFECT FOR ALL THE PHOTOS of his WIN (oops..) THAT HE SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED!

Katy Perry. I don’t care if it was ARMANI. Or that you “brought my  own Grammy” ( her Grandma- cheeze)… WTF is with the WINGS? Just because you sang at the recent Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it doesn’t give you the right to try and be an ANGEL. Your pretty, but your not a model. (I’m guessing she took a cue from Lindsey, and stole them after the runway show.)

Ricky Martin….the sexy singer, the new dad, the now out and proud gay man, (the man whose concert I have been to 2 times, have sat on the dancers bus, have met him twice, AND OWN his  “Bon-Bon” Shaking Armani leather pants from “Living La Vida Loca” tour), the Latin lover that can do no wrong…sadly, he finally did. NOOO!!!! WHY!!!!??? the pants are TOOO tight ( I know, how can that be), and the boots heighth made his legs look shorter and stumpy, and that DAMN TIE kept twisting around backwards. I feel I will see this outfit mimicked in Weho. Ricky, for you- LESS is MORE 🙂 I will dress you!!

…..and now, the ARRIVAL of GAGA…..

…followed by her performance. First: the other day, was having dinner with friends, and we were all thinking of what she was going to wear. I said she has done everything crazy, she should go naked. And low and behold, this is as naked as you can get! Nude tones, and all the dancers stripped down to nude underwear. Am I on a GAGA trend?  She ROCKED the performance, and SHE “whipped her hair!” Those prosthetic shoulder protrusions were certainly weird, but I would expect nothing less. In fact, THOSE shoulders started a trend…..that the next 2 below failed to pull off

Monica…. I didn’t mind it at first, but then realized that neckline is CHOKING her! She OBVIOUSLY heard about GAGA’s shoulders, and must have wanted in on the action. Maybe she thought, “If I have them, maybe my career will come back!”

And the Sadness continues with Snookie. those lame shoulder puffs? REALLY??! Who dresses her? WHO LIED TO YOU??! It’s like “Dynasty” gone all wrong… all that jewelry, the earings, the cuffs?? She looks like Chuy Bravo in Drag!!!

“Snookie?” Just call her “Sausage”.

Lastly, and I really want to know why…. WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???!?! THIS IS THE GRAMMYS, NOT MTV. CLASS IT UP, DUMBA**. Even HE performed with Muppets! This GAGA egg thing hatched a BIRD, no, a PLANE, no… ELTON JOHN WITH A TAN? It’s just sooooo disturbing. Seriously: what sane person thinks, “oh that’s cool, I’m going to wear that..”. WTF & WLTY!

 

 

 

ps: thank u to Celebuzz, justjared, wireimage, and getty images.

 

Golden Globes 2010: Gowns & Getups

As always, Award Show Red Carpets  give every fashionista anxiety: “WHO WORE WHAT???” And throughout the show, there are the “ooh’s and aah’s”. Then there are the, “WHAT THE F***? WHO’S HER STYLIST?? DOES SHE EVEN HAVE ONE? WHO LIED TO YOU????

Thankfully there wasn’t too much of that this year; mostly beautiful, some could have been tweaked, and a few: JAIL TIME SHOULD BE SERVED.  I have the WORST at the end…enjoy! 🙂

Here we go:

***THE HOLLYWOOD A-LIST***

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Monique Lhullier. Emerald green was worn by many last night, and this was one of the best of that color. The shape is gorgeous, Catherine (as ALWAYS) is one of the most BEAUTIFUL women alive, but the material reminds me of astro-turf. I know, I know: I love Monique too, and I’m sure in person, the material is wonderful, but if it looks like grass to millions of viewers, it probably is not the best PR move.  (Catherine is TOOO gorgeous for that).

Ann Hathaway, in Armani Prive.  This girl went from petrifing to pretty in Princess Diaries; a disaster to diva in Devil wears Prada, and now: a girl to GORGEOUS. Ann: THANK YOU! Beautiful hair, face, dress- that open back to JUUUUUSSSST above the butt, looked absolutely amazing. My vote towards best of the night 🙂

Nicole Kidman in Prada. Pretty face, great slender body, nice dress. Simple. I think the simpleness with the bow is destroyed with adding a sparkly shoulder piece. Ehh…. NEXT

Sandra Bullock, in Jenny Packham. I don’t mind this, she looks great, but it’s a lil…. boring? could there be such a thing as maybe, “Beautiful boring?” I love Ms. Sandy B, (and please don’t hate me anyone), but if you look quickly at this photo, you could mistake the posturing and hair for Bai Ling…. (an Amazing version of Bail Ling, of course). I liked the bangs, but then thought, wait, she looks asian…

Angelina Jolie, in Versace. I think this is the first time in my life I though,”wait… i don’t like this” when it came to a thought about Angelina. To me, she is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, it borders on OBSESSING how AMAZING her FACE, BODY, EYES, EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS. But this dress fell short of that. All I ended up caring about was seeing her and Brad all cozy all night. Aww…

Julianne Moore, in Lanvin…… WTF??????????? I love her as an actress, and love all her characters she’s played. BUT THIS DRESS IS HOOOOOOORRRRIBLE! The one arm thin, half dress thing has GOT TO GOOOO!!!!!! NO, NO, NO! WHO LIED TO YOU??? YOU are BEST FRIENDS with TOM FORD! WHERE IS A NEW TOM FORD DRESS????????

Scarlett Johanssen, in Elie Saab. This outfit says one thing to me: BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN!! What is this lace thing? with the hair pulled up high and back??? ALL it needed were the streaks, and she would have been that character!!!

Natalie Portman, in Victor & Rolf. She is the Golden Globe sweetheart, EVERYONE and their mother is talking about her and BLACK SWAN. What everyone is also talking about is, “Why This Dress??” We know the movie is eerie, we know she is now pregnant… is she trying to show us a sweet side? If so: I don’t want to see that! I want Goddess! This rose thing is N.C. (not cute)… We all remember the misfortune that was Charlize’s rosebud boobies, right???

Jennifer Lopez, in Zuhair Murad. Remember the song, “My Love don’t cost a thing?” Well, this unfortunate communion/catholic wedding dress is no exception. She supposedly wore $5 million in jewelry….. too bad I don’t see that here. I guess you can still have a lot of money, and still look blah. Even her hair, just in a ponytail? NOT APPROPRIATE FOR A RED CARPET! She may be a beautiful woman, but no excuse: put in some effort. She is currently the FACE of Gucci, with her kids: WEAR A STUNNING GUCCI! PLEASE!!!

Halle Berry, in Nina Ricci. No matter what she wears, this woman is PRICELESS. LOOK AT THAT FACE! THAT BODY! THAT SKIN!!!! Although I’m not a fan of the half dress, half gown thing; i think I like this. Of course I wish it was one or the other, but seeing this photo again, thank God I get to see some leg! Voting MOST GORGEOUS of the Night!

***YOUNG HOLLYWOOD***

Leighton Meester, in Burberry. It may seem a little old fashioned at first, but then the shoes!, the slit!, the tailored sleeves!, and of course: that coy cherub face I love. I actually really like this on her. TEAM BLAIR!

Emma Stone, Calvin Klein Collection. We know her from “Easy A”…. here, she gets an A+!!!!! I LOVE her BLONDE!!!! And she’s TAN! and that perfect shade of peachy orange looks Great! I hope this got Casting directors attention, because I want to see more of this!!!! 🙂

Olivia Wilde, in Marchesa. I’m still not sure… I LOVE that its a “princess” dress, and the colors are dark and sexy…., but her unbrushed-hair look bothers me. I know if she did an up-do, it might look TOOO princess-y, but then again, it IS a red carpet!!! Maybe some big Giselle styled curls…. I just need more here. Dress is being wasted 😦

Jennifer Love Hewitt, in Romona Keveza (a bridal dress maker). I think she looks great here, she does it right with the hair, makeup, skin. Very Pretty. The dress looks a little like the structured Marchesa worn by Kate Hudson a while ago, but otherwise: Good Job J Love! I was rooting for you to win for “The Client List!”

Megan Fox, in Armani Prive. THE TEMPTRESS OF THE NIGHT. THE SEDUCTRESS. The Bad Girl in Hollywood that you have inappropriate thoughts of. THIS IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!

Mila Kunis, in Vera Wang. One of “the other green dresses”.  HOT GIRL, great color on her. I think the shoulder is too wide, too much fabric… don’t really like the poof on it either. Had it been strapless, (and with a better push-up), this would have been STUNNING. However, that face saves it. I can’t wait to see more, and hope that her Oscar dress SCREAMS Body hugging!!!!

Christina Aguilera, in Zuhair Murad. I’m not a fan of the mermaid tail, but I do like this dress; I like the way it curves, and the bust line is a great fit. But WHY the SAME RED LIPS with the SAME BLEACHED HAIR????? PICK SOMETHING ELSE PLEAAASE!!!!! It’s driving me CRAZY! Bring back some makeup moves from STRIPPED! Give me SEXY SMOKEY EYES!!! ANYTHING!!! And Christina: whats with the WEIGHT??????????

*** TV LAND***

Eva Longoria, Zac Posen. We all know she likes her trains, I think it comes with the Napolean Complex: the shorter you are, the grander the dress. While the top is modest, and simple (almost too much actually.. the top half looks like a secretary), the bottom reminded me of URSULA in “The Little Mermaid”. If anyone with a brain knows: that correlation should not happen.

Sophia Vergara, in Vera Wang….. or as she said, ” Vera WONG”. Hey Gorgeous Hot Fiery Temptress Beautiful Creature: Make sure you say the name right!!!! I love her on Modern Family, that accent makes me Crazy in love with her, and seeing her at Nobu once made my heart stop. However: red dress, on red carpet-Can get lost. And I don’t want this lady to get lost!

Leah Michelle, in Oscar de la Renta. Usually, she is a favorite of mine, because she chooses mature gowns. This time, it looks sloppy: The hair hanging in the face, with the excess fabric drooping down the side of her…. this is TOO MUCH DRESS for her… to big, too much, too sloppy.

Sarah Hyland, in Max Azria Atelier. You may not recognize her, but she is the eldest daughter in Modern Family. That’s right: all grown up, and BEAUTIFUL!!!!!My jaw dropped when I saw this; no jeans, or little outfits, but emerging as a woman! She looks SOOOO Good! Definitely the VOTE for BEST NEWCOMER!!!!! 🙂 Congrats!

 

***THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!***

Heidi Klum and Seal; she in Marc Jacobs, he in something to be burned. WHAT IS THIS MESS????? This is GROSS. His outfit is UGLY. UGLY SHOES. What is that suit: leather??? Gross. And take your glasses off, this isn’t MTV awards, this is for the Golden Globes! What are you doing here anyway? And Heidi: YOU RUN AN EMPIRE revolving around FASHION, and THIS UGLY ASS DRESS is what you wear to a RED CARPET AWARDS SHOW?????!?!?! SHAME ON YOU.  This Picture is Ugly to look at.

Tilda Swinton, in Jill Sander.  (sigh…) I know you’re a little kooky, and almost like the older version of a Chloe Sevigney with your outfit choices, but WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Its like the fashion house tried to make a 1-piece version of what Sharon Stone wore…in the 90’s!!! Sharon wore a ball gown skirt, with her the husband’s shirt… and it LOOKED GOOD! Here, this is a GIANT DIAPER DRESS. BLUGH! ( the ONLY ONLY ONLY thing I like: is the pink shoe that’s so unfortunately being hidden).

Julianna Marguiles, in vintage YSL.  Sometimes, vintage needs to stay there. BORING BORING BORING. YOU LOOK LIKE AN OLD LADY.

Mandy Moore, in Monique Lhullier. Sorry Hon, Catherine Zeta got the better dress from this designer. Looks like either Monique wasn’t involved with this dress AT ALL, or it’s a lie! THIS IS BORING AND UGLY. BLAH. Brush your Hair!

Helena Bohnam Carter, in Vivienne Westwood.  (WTF……. SIGHHHHHHHHHHH…………) Where do I start…. the hair? the mismatched shoes? the dress? How about this woman’s sanity. I would REALLY LIKE TO KNOW THIS: WHAT GOES ON IN THAT BRAIN WHEN DRESSING FOR AN AWARDS SHOW????? WHAT DRUGS/ PRESCRIPTIONS/ HALLUCINOGENS/ ALCOHOL  ARE YOU TAKING??? What makes this OK?!?!?!?! Can’t someone recognize that she’s not right in the head? That she’s a little bit CRAZY????  In her OWN word’s from Alice in Wonderland: “OFF WITH HER HEAD”. This GETUP is such an insult to the establishment which puts on theses awards. She should not be allowed to be there if she makes a mockery of recognizing talent. Keep your ugly fashion choices to yourself.  INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!!